Roller-Coaster: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Brandon_5.jpg]] | |||
<big><b>Roller-Coaster</b></big> | |||
< | <big>a.k.a. Brandon Beasley, a.k.a. Chester Morgan Muffley (noted innocent), a.k.a. Dominic Perignon (co-owner of OWNU)</big> | ||
<b> | <b>Character:</b> | ||
Having left Silicon Valley ignominiously, Brandon has made his home in L.A., the hungriest city in the world. He has acquired so many signs of success: an extensive crypto portfolio (he shills Cavorite); a home in fashionable Melrose; a beautiful and ferocious wife; the respect(-ish) of his peers; even his very own newborn unicorn-to-be, OWNU. So then, why does he seem angrier than ever? | |||
<b> | <b>Hooks:</b> | ||
< | <u>Cryptobro: </u> You aren't seriously going to tell him you're still not diversifying into crypto, are you? What, do you live in a cave or something? Do you keep your retirement savings under your mattress? Seriously bro. If you are eager to lose money on memecoins, mention anything even vaguely financial around him and he will rapidly buttonhole you into an unpleasantly intense conversation. | ||
< | <u>Rich Man in Poor Land: </u> For some inexplicable reason, lately the rich-and-getting-richer hustlebro spends most of his time hanging around the be-tented streets of L.A.'s Skid Row, homelessness capital of America. Surely, his motives, whatever they are, are unseemly. | ||
< | <u>Rich Man in Rich Land: </u> Brandon also spends time in the Melrose District, where he and his wife, [[Lola_Darling|Lola (nee Darling)]], live in a brutalist slab, and you might bump into him there, or in the financial district, or Rodeo Drive, which he really cannot quite yet properly afford. | ||
<u>OWNU: </u> Brandon and Lola co-own OWNU, an app that lets you purchase the delinquent debt of people in your social circle. After all, who knows better whether Uncle Rudy is good for paying down his medical debt, you, or the bank? And maybe, if you own his medical debt, Uncle Rudy will finally stfu about chemtrails at Thanksgiving dinner. So if you'd like to be on the giving or receiving end of such a financial relationship, or if you would like to complain to the manager, Brandon is here for you. | |||
<b>Played by:</b> | |||
< | <p>[[File:Brandon_2.jpg|x200px|link=https://youtu.be/Vg5HIMnPx7k]] <big> </big> [[File:Brandon_3.jpg|x200px]] <big> </big> [[File:Brandon_4.jpg|x200px]]</p> | ||
<b>Music:</b> | |||
House music: "A Drug From God" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljV2qZnuHTw | House music: "A Drug From God" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljV2qZnuHTw | ||
Latest revision as of 04:21, 5 January 2025
Roller-Coaster
a.k.a. Brandon Beasley, a.k.a. Chester Morgan Muffley (noted innocent), a.k.a. Dominic Perignon (co-owner of OWNU)
Character:
Having left Silicon Valley ignominiously, Brandon has made his home in L.A., the hungriest city in the world. He has acquired so many signs of success: an extensive crypto portfolio (he shills Cavorite); a home in fashionable Melrose; a beautiful and ferocious wife; the respect(-ish) of his peers; even his very own newborn unicorn-to-be, OWNU. So then, why does he seem angrier than ever?
Hooks:
Cryptobro: You aren't seriously going to tell him you're still not diversifying into crypto, are you? What, do you live in a cave or something? Do you keep your retirement savings under your mattress? Seriously bro. If you are eager to lose money on memecoins, mention anything even vaguely financial around him and he will rapidly buttonhole you into an unpleasantly intense conversation.
Rich Man in Poor Land: For some inexplicable reason, lately the rich-and-getting-richer hustlebro spends most of his time hanging around the be-tented streets of L.A.'s Skid Row, homelessness capital of America. Surely, his motives, whatever they are, are unseemly.
Rich Man in Rich Land: Brandon also spends time in the Melrose District, where he and his wife, Lola (nee Darling), live in a brutalist slab, and you might bump into him there, or in the financial district, or Rodeo Drive, which he really cannot quite yet properly afford.
OWNU: Brandon and Lola co-own OWNU, an app that lets you purchase the delinquent debt of people in your social circle. After all, who knows better whether Uncle Rudy is good for paying down his medical debt, you, or the bank? And maybe, if you own his medical debt, Uncle Rudy will finally stfu about chemtrails at Thanksgiving dinner. So if you'd like to be on the giving or receiving end of such a financial relationship, or if you would like to complain to the manager, Brandon is here for you.
Played by:
Music:
House music: "A Drug From God" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljV2qZnuHTw
Not House music: "Up And Down" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adx6JcWITQ0
