2020-05-10 Second Thoughts, First Insights
Second Thoughts, First Insights
Location: Ascension Lodge
Date and Time: May 10, 2020
Summary: A connection deepens and a higher calling beckons
Mood Music: Stealers Wheel - "Stuck in the Middle with You"
Note: That Jinny and Luu were ever members of Ascension Lodge is the main subject retconned from this log.
After the meeting in the garden and Makana's explanation about quintessence-blood-fed plants which, despite how interesting they might be both magickally and botanically still freaked Jinny out, she retired to the library to do some work that still needed to be done. The initial class outline for Spirit had been set up, with more minute things needing to be filled in. Luu had been an enormous help with finding the missing aspects Jinny was overlooking - not because Jinny didn't know them, but because they were so second nature that she kind of overlooked them because she was able to see them so effortlessly.
Leaning back in her seat, shoes left over by the door at some point, Jinny rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, her glasses left on the tabletop of the alcove she's working on. "It's hard, sometimes. I love the spirit world, and there's a lot of amazing things, but just getting through the stuff that you need to know to keep from being lost in an umbral offshoot is a chore. Thank you for helping me, Luu."
While Luu had been happy to meet new people in the garden, the plants did seem to bother her as well. Not 'freaked out' like Jinny, but something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She was only too happy for the excuse to leave and help out with Jinny's research into Spirits, and preparation for class.
"Of course," Luu says, sitting across from Jinny, a stack of notes and books between them. "From what I'm told," she begins to say, "that whole, like, Theseus and the Minotaur thing? Some people use, like, a thread while in the Umbra to find their way back, or something like that. But I imagine even with that it can get tangled or you can get lost or what not, but I don't think that's the way you travel there, right?" Asking these questions, Luu seems pleasant enough, though there's a hint of worry or perhaps something troubling her that she's not really letting on about.
"It's rare that you physically go to the Umbra, at least in my case. I've gone, and it's amazing, but for new travellers, simply going out, astrally, is often the best way to experience it without too much danger. Your physical body is safe and watched over while your mind explores all that is and can be in the dimensions outside reality. Physically going requires getting past the local gauntlet - the membrane preventing realities from clashing, and that's a more advanced topic to discuss at the bare minimum." Jinny flips her notebook to a clean page, scratching down a few words relating to the gauntlet to be added to the taxonomy part of her discussion. "I find that having a point of reference of some kind - an emotional point of reference - works wonders. Something that resonates with you on a deep, personal level to act as a beacon of sorts. You'd be surprised at the number of stuffed animals and toys that I've seen that resonate with people that are used as anchors." She reaches across the table to touch Luu's hand lightly. "I could probably help you find one, or make one that would work, if you'd like."
Luu listens carefully as Jinny gives her some of the details of travelling through the Umbra safely. The idea of these various teddy bears serving as anchors brings a smile to her face, and she wonders what they might do in the real world while someone is astrally projecting. "Resonance," Luu repeats back, "resonance is one of my specialties. I can't tell if I'm too good at it or just not disciplined enough. Like, I'm quite skilled at using it, but also at times I sort of dot iby accident. Like I'll touch something or someone and jsut get a flash of insight, not always good. Then other times? I sort of pick up on other things. They're always things happening at that moment, and I can tell the difference, but -- " Luu pauses as she thinks about this, then adds, "When we went out to tapas on that date, and then took a walk afterwards? There was a moment when I saw something in that window. It' wasn't anything special, just a couple sitting down to dinner, somewhere, I dunno, maybe they had spent a lot of time shopping there or something? Well, anyway, stuff like that happens sometimes." A beat before she adds, "but I have some ideas of what might make anchors if I need that."
Jinny makes a soft sound and a nod. "I noticed that when we were walking. You kind of stopped and stared at that window for a little while, then kept going as if nothing happened. And, you know, it's part of one of my theories of memory that I'm still working on, that objects absorb the resonance of things that happen around them. I mean....take this pen." Jinny lifts her pen, battered and half-empty. "Given the right way to watch, you might be able to reproduce the memories that happened with this pen. Everything that was written by human hands." She twirls it around her fingers in that practiced pen-spinning way, accidentally dropping it when she gets to her ring finger, grinning sheepishly as it clatters to the table. "Sorry. Probably not the best thing to do in a library."
Luu's resonance, though, does get Jinny's attention. "Is there anything that triggers it? I mean, will the same object, place, or person trigger the same image, or is it completely random when it happens?"
Luu nods, confirming that what she is talking about is the thing Jinny observed. "That's definitely the case," Luu responds regarding Jinny's theory of the pen, "It would probably take some doing to get that, but it seems to be the case as far as I can tell. Yet, it's also something that cannot be relied upon." Looking at the pen as it drops, Luu grins, before looking back to Jinny, "the idea that you can retrieve such things, means they get there somehow, right? You can just as easily hit record as you could hit play, or even erase. There we're only talking about the pen itself, right? But that pen forms connections to other things and people, some very strong and some barely there. Not only can one work with the pen and what it might 'contain,' but one can strengthen and weaken the links between it and anything else. The closer it is connected to something, the easier it is to affect something else at a distance, so often it is used as defense or offense. Personally, I use it to build ideas. When making clothing, I'm not just sewing together physical fabric, I'm stitching together ideas and concepts."
"Nothing specific triggers it," Luu notes as she thinks about it, "at least nothing I can figre out. I think it's from sort of an accident -- or maybe a blessing -- when I was an Apprentice."
"I'd love to watch you work sometime. Plug a monitor into your head and see what you see or, at least, talk to you while you're doing it to get the stream of consciousness while you work. Even sit in the umbra and watch how the spirits interact with your work - which reminds me...." Jinny takes a few more notes. "I wonder how difficult it will be to nudge people in the class away from a Chrisitanity-centric view of the universe to something more universal? The students here seem really open to new ideas - thankfully - so bringing aspects of Shinto might be more acceptable."
"That wouldn't be that difficult," Luu responds to Jinny, adding, "There's this party game I like to play at my house. Improvised Satellite, Hipster Box Office, Theater in the Triangle, it gets lots of names. What I do is gather the group around and start laying out the ground rules for improvisation. They start at it, and it takes a bit to get the hang of it, but they start acting out things that are going on elsewhere at that moment. We might gather something with particular resonance to try and tune in the right 'channel,' I mean usually I just let it flow in a direction, but I can work towards something very focused. I mean, it doesn't make them good actors or anything, but the occasional hamminess can be part of the fun." Pausing for a moment, a small grin on her face she continues, "The real fun happens if I can get a big enough group together. We tune into something, let's say a couple having dinner. Two pairs start acting it out side-by-side. Only one's acting out what they're doing and the other group's acting out what they really mean." Luu gives a small laugh as she shakes her head slightly, "It can get pretty good."
"In terms of getting people into different ways of thinking?" Luu asks rhetorically, giving a little hmm as she notes, "The Order is notoriously stuffy, and often attracts a certain type, lots of academics and what not. My House tends to be the most left-field, though I think it's often that we're misunderstood. Just like you were talking about that pen, certain ideas pick up things over time. So really, there might be some small ritual to perform, but they end up performing it and all the Wizard resonance it's built up over time. My House? We tend to shake the dust off, or sometimes pile it on. But maybe the best way is not to pull them in your direction. Maybe it's to go their direction. I'm not saying change your ways, just start seeing the bits in common and focusing on that, then when you're both connecting, you can pull them your way."
Jinny lets out a soft sigh and nods, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. "That sounds like a lot of fun and not anything that would happen here. This place just seems so....I don't know what I expected of a Chantry. Not this. It just seems to be a few people following rote and passage and not much of anything more than maintaining the status of the lodge in some invisible hierarchy." She shakes her head. "Sorry, I'm just...I don't know. Feeling like I don't fit in here, no matter what I'm told by Makana."
Reaching over, Luu gives Jinny's handle a gentle squeeze. "You're not alone," she lets the other woman know, and while it's an agreement with her feelings on the Chantry, she seems to be saying so much more as well. "Shit," Luu says softly, adding, "I promised myself to be careful about this, but well, if you're stringing me along you're doing a damn good job and I deserve. I'm trying to figure out something else, but it's a tight-rope. There's great resources here, like this library, and Nash, well I'm pretty sure he'd love to have me over in his Chantry. But I'm also feeling lie neither of those are right. I'm trying to keep in the good graces of those two while I work to figure things out, I don't want to alienate them. I mean, maybe there's other smaller Chantries that would work, or maybe working to find the right people to develop a new one. Either way, those would be in a significantly weaker position, so not only do I not want enemies, but I also want to be able to borrow some books from here without it being a big debt, you know." Pausing a beat, Luu meets Jinny's eyes and wonders, "doesn't your group maintain, like, a dream library or something like that?"
What Luu is saying, what she's thinking, is very much in the vein of what Jinny was thinking as well. This place, and Nash's, just didn't seem to fit. This place was more like Hogwarts, while Nash's seemed more like a Marvel Comics base full of technology, neither fit the world view that Jinny really embraced. Ascension was closest, which is why she started coming here to study and learn, but at Luu's spoken thought, she lets out a soft breath she didn't know she was holding. "While she specializes in finding out secrets, Luu, we also know when to keep them close to the vest." She glances over at the books that seem to not be just about spirit, but in all sorts of subjects that might relate to all sorts of research. And then the question. "The Umbral Library." Jinny says softly with a nod, her other hand coming over the top of the table to clasp Luu's hand in hers, tracing the tendons on the back with her thumbs, memorizing the shape by the simple act of touching and exploring. "It's where we go every few years to share our stories that we find. An accumulation of all the knowledge we've learned. A magickal place to rival the Library of Alexandra." She chuckles. "I think that we've got a section of original works from there at our library, too."
Luu nods along as Jinny expresses her dismay at the city's most noted Chantries. "It's not just that that's troubling me," Luu says, clearly trusting Jinny with things she knows she should be more careful with, but being compelled to connect. "I mean, you deal with Spirits and stories," Luu notes, adding, "and I know we both are practitioners of Ars Cupididate. I do a lot with languages and cycles, and then there's art and fashion. It seems like in terms of our practices and general outlook we have a lot in common. I tend to do subtle work involving people, ideas. I'm not sure about you there, as I haven't seen you really work your Arts, but -- " Pausing for a moment Luu says, "-- but I'm getting ahead of myself. You're the story expert. I need an answer to the stories. Are there still new stories left to tell? I mean, I look at history and it's like things stay the same the masks just shift, there's definite cycles to it, and yet I think there's more. Like I'm feeling the moon's pull as everything, and yet forgetting that the Moon herself is still there to be explored. Is it?"
Luu's hands are squeezed again, a glance to the door and a hand lifted to shh, her voice dropping to barely a whisper. "We should discuss this somewhere that there aren't ears that might be listening but...yes. Exactly. My arts are subtle. If I do it right, you don't even know I've done anything at all. My will is the last thing to try, not the first to solve whatever problem may present itself. But stories..." Jinny glances at the door again. "There are thousands of new stories to be told, over and over again. They may share certain aspects, but in the simple act of telling, they're different in some way from all the others. They're like that experiment where, if observed, the results change. History, in my view, doesn't repeat itself, but it definitely rhymes."
"We should," Luu definitely agrees with a nod, realizing perhaps they're not being as conspiratorial as they should be, but clearly liking the direction this is going. "There are times to dispense with subtlety," she notes, "as I'm sure the Umbra allows you to get away with a great deal, but other than an emergency, public is not one of those. We think ourselves, different, special, and maybe we are, but in a way we're just advanced professionals in arcane subjects. Imagine a doctor. Well, if someone collapses and they perform CPR, that's within bounds. But some among our kind? It's as if they think that Doctor might perform brain surgery while riding the Subway." There's a slight shake of her head to this, dismissing the foolishness of othere. "I think that we can work together," Luu let's Jinny know, "and that we have similar desires -- " There's a pause as Luu realizes what she just said, a slight blush, before continuing, "There are similar things we want out of life. But there is something more we should talk about in private. It's something I'm not sure I have an answer to, I'm not sure you will either, but if this is meant to be? Together we will have the answer."
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Standing on the shoulders of giants to take the next obvious step isn't the step that always needs to be taken, and rushing for the finish line means that the journey, the meat of the story, is missed in the haste to finish." Jinny squeezes Luu's hands again, that little blush drawing a small smile from the redheaded woman, knowing the unconscious declaration is a more real emotion than what might be expressed when something else is said.
"We don't need to find an answer. Simply asking the right questions...that's often enough."
"I tend to agree," Luu responds to Jinny, her voice getting a bit more serious as she adds, "but this one? This one we might need to answer, because someone is definitely going to answer it."
