2020-07-03 Happy Meals

Getting dem happy meals

Participants: Shelly Spider Otto Mark - old

Storyteller: Nakisisa

Location:

Date and Time: June 23, 201- 10:14 pm

Summary: Rocks fall, everyone dies

Mood Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx3g-0yalV0

There have been a few robberies out of the payday loan place. Lately, they get the cash to go a block either way and then get robbed. It seems four or five robberies are wearing outfits in the style of the old McDonalds characters. One Ronald, One Grimace, One Mayor, One bandit, and one giant chicken girl. They strike every Tuesday or Wednesday that day when it's packed. They seem always to grab the person with the largest payout. It's over and done quickly, given they have shotguns and pistols and one with a barbed wire bat.

Three weeks of this, and it is finally getting dealt with by someone, even if the cops don't care.

The city has many shadows... tonight it just so happens one of said shadows has made its way up on to a rooftop near the Quick Cash. There's a few creaks on the ladder up to the building but only once on the rooftop does Shelly drop her veil of concealment and peer over the edge of the roof, watching. Possibly waiting?

Otto has been rather absent from his usual malingering about Skid Row as of late. Vigilantism has been up. The Bodach has been up. Stalking across the rooftops toward the payday loan place, he tugs at the lapels of his coat as he lurks on the precipice of the roof edge in his great coat, only half maintaining his Obfuscation so that fleeting shadows of his figure drift in and out of sight as headlights drift by. He scowls to himself, shaking his head and tossing about the long slick mane of white hair cresting through the malformed 'horns' on his head. He had come to investigate robberies. Robberies assaulting his own 'people' as he called them, and he intended to deliver justice.

Mark is certainly not what you would describe as a selfless anti-hero of the night. Selfish, much more accurate. But hanging out on your own and working on your bike only covers entertainment for so long, everyone gets bored right? So through a no-doubt long and ambiguous chain of vampires who know ghouls who know other kindred, Mark is alerted to this Bodach flavoured event, and being a bro, knowing this will help Otto get into Cheyenne's pants, he's lingering around somewhere in the vicinity. Not a rooftop, that's far too gauche for a streetwise... whatever clan Mark is. It's an alleyway or closed shop doorway, lingering in a completely mundane way, no obfuscation here.

Really for some it's just a case of wrong place at the right time. One such is the MC Pres and one of his ghouls; the pretty redhead. The two of them are sitting on their bikes just after she had come out of the store with a pack of smokes. Mercy is lighting up her cigarette as the Gangrel stares on and shakes his head a little "You know those things are bad for you, right?" he states without a bit of irony.

"Won't matter if you turn me, now will it, pop?" she replies with a cheeky smile at him and receives a snort for her remark. They are getting situated and ready to take off as the young woman adds, "Did you get those Newports for Locust? You know he is going to be butt hurt if you didn't."

There's almost a dramatic breeze. Otto scowls as he turns to look over his shoulder, smiling wryly at Shelly's appearance. If nothing else, he's become more accustomed to the Kindred and their gifts. "Welcome to the party, pal," he quips, turning his attention back toward the South Central street below. "Hopefully -they- show themselves. I can't stand these types. Aren't there more lucrative targets to rob than -these- people?" he asked, almost to himself, licking his lips again and flexing his malformed and overtly elongated fingertips. <English>

The line is moving out comes a man with a fat wad of cash, as he starts to count it as his fingers moving around it. He looks down on his luck, cheap suit, ratty holes, and a pair of scuffed leather shoes. He shoves the money into the inner pocket as he starts to walk off. He is moving quickly as you see a van begin to follow the man. It is brown, that disgusting color of brown that makes one feel like it's been in the river. Rust is a thoughtful way to talk of the paint. It is pulling up next to him as the newly paid man turns down an alley.

Shelly wordlessly puts a finger to her lips when she's spotted by Otto, pointing to that van rolling in up ahead. Not quite willing to give up her high ground just yet, the woman in her custodian's jumpsuit follows along with the path of the van as far as she can on the roof before looking for options for quickest way down.

Mark lingers a moment, wondering when The Bodach is going to make his move before realising, he probably already is and Mark would have no idea with that obfuscation discipline of his. Rolling his eyes at himself he simply steps out of his doorway and follows as well, just a man in a leather cut walking up the street coincidentally towards the van and the ratty suited man. He starts whistling a terrible, off tone rendition of CCR's Born on the Bayou.

Otto is a little more active than his latest 'compatriot,' as she points out the van. He turns quickly to follow the course of the vehicle toward the alley - leaping roof tops as necessary - maneuvering himself to try and get above the man, and his errant pursuer. He glances at the man in a moment of suspicion, wondering if perhaps it's just bait and then takes in a deep 'breath' as he prepares to strike from above.

Spider is pretty much oblivious to the rusted old van, but his companion is not. As she is taking a pull on the cigarette and enjoying that sweet sweet smoke in her lungs, she spots it and huhs softly. "Hey pops, take a look at the old kidnap van." she comments and points at it with the fingers holding that cig. "That thing is rolling in slow. Drive by maybe?" she considers with arched brows.

"Here?" he questions, looking around them a moment. "Nobody to hit here...why would somebody drive by this place?" Spider then questions with a slight headshake. Oh and there goes some action. People in motion. They sit back and watch for now. "This might get interesting." the bald Gangrel comments with a chuckle.

The door to the van open and slam shut, from where each of you are can't see what is going on in the alley.

Glancing over his shoulder to ensure Shelly was still with him, Otto - The Bodach, more accurately in his present state - grins widely with an air of reckless anger, showing off his jagged and malformed toothy maw. "Come out the coast, have a few laughs, they said," he jokes before reasserting his Obfuscation and leaping from the roof top, attempting to land with all the force his unnatural strength and Potence could provide atop the van. <English>

As the Bodach is coming down on the van, the sound of crunching metal, as the van is folded inwards. Like a tin can in a can crusher, the windows shatter. Three of the guys are still in there, the sound of bones meeting the metal and a muffled cry dead or alive they are now trapped due to the landing force. The other two are dressed like Ronald and the Grimace turn towards the van confused as all get out, aiming their guns right at Shelly.

The would-be victim is running full tilt now, as he is long gone before anyone notices.

Mark continues to walk down the street towards the alley, hands in pockets. As he passes Spider he leans over, "Ain't you the prick with banana hammock guy?" He tilts his head towards the alley as he strides past, "You getting in on this action or what, pussy?" He turns away, apparently uncaring of any potential disagreement Spider might raise with him as to his choice of language, heading right for the alley, but at no particular hurry, and now he's not talking he returns to badly whistling Creedence.

Arching his brows at the comment coming from Mark as he passes, Spider just kind of stares at him. He doesn't know Mark and had no idea Mark knew him. "Who the fuck was that?" he asks his companion; the pretty redhead. "Do you know him?" Another glance at Mark as he is heading for the alley.

"Uhhhh no. Not really...just some strange dude, I guess." Mercy answers with a shrug, tossing her cigarette on the ground and smooshing it out with a booted foot. "I think something must be going down though." she explains to Spider as the van gets crushed. That does get his attention.

"Well damn ... what the hell is this happy horseshit?" he questions, getting off his motorcycle and grabbing the shotgun in the side holster. The one he only really uses for intimidation purposes. Honestly. He begins heading for the van with a curious interest.

Otto's obfuscation drops as he makes impact, striving to move as quickly as possible to avoid any possibility of positively identifying himself, even with his Nosferatu gifts. Springing from the van's roof, he attempts to tackle Grimace in a flurry of sweeping coat fabric before the men can really react - he doesn't have any art to his form: he tries, but it looks as if most of his technique comes from watching videos on martial arts as he tries to take the purple man down through sheer brutality.

Look... Bat Man falling from the sky onto a van like that is very distracting even if you had an //idea// that it was coming. Shelly still wasn't fully prepared for just how devastating that jump would be... or the Nosferato's leap onto Grimace. In surprise, she tries to do something which... is to reach out and try to grab one of those shotguns that was pointed in her direct and get it away but that's much easier said than done. She doesn't get a hold of the gun and loses her stealthy shadows in the process. The look on her face probably says it all: Crap.

Grimace's costume is a little more awkward than originally perceived. Despite tackling the man to the ground, Otto's flurry of punches and elbows dropped onto the man are often absorbed by the giant purple chicken nugget. He snarls in anger as he pummels the costumed villain, his coat settling down about him as he crouched atop Grimace like an animal, laying into the puffy head furiously.

Grimace's takes the blow as he stands up now his shotgun is raised at Otto. "FUCK OFF!" He says as he starts to back up slowly, as he is limping just a bit, as he bites his lip. He has taken none of that sweet punch, he is all good in the hood.

Curious as to what is going on, Spider begins to make his way toward the commotion. He slings the shotgun over his shoulder and strolls as if he had all the time in the world to do whatever it is he is going to do. In fact, he is watching, trying to get a measure of what is going on before he steps in at all; despite being ready for action pretty damn quick. Oh he knows the Bodach. That one is familiar. And somebody is aiming a shotgun at him?

The shotgun comes up, and it levels right into Shelly. Ronald Motherfucking Mcdonald is good with it as it blasting right into her chest. "FUCKERS! Breaking our fucking VAN!" He is backing up now, as he watches the others as he looks at the purple monster.

Bringing that shotgun off his shoulder, Spider extends it out at arms length to aim at the asshat who is pointing his OWN shotgun at Otto. "Hey!" he calls out as if to try getting the guy's attention first. Then his finger squeezes the trigger and a 12 guage slug slams into asshat; center mass. Ouch that is going to leave a mark!

The gun is dropped and it goes off hitting the grimace in the skull, as the body is drops now and the screaming in the van has stopped it seems there are no longer in the land of the living. As the clown looks around confused, not knowing his clock is about to get cleaned.

Mark is just strolling, he's on a nice walk in the evening. He upnods at Spider as they get to the van and then crouches and leaps up onto the crumpled in roof. It's now that he finally takes his hands out of his pockets as he steps off the other side, landing with his boots slapping the ground and lashing out with an overhand haymaker that wouldn't touch a decent boxer. But Ronald apparently isn't a decent boxer, because he takes Mark's haymaker right on the cheek like a good little criminal. Mark is for once, quite enjoying his evening stroll. Usually it's boring. "Hey man, fuckin' get some!" He yells, at Otto, repeating his line from the beach party.

After that single shot, the bald Gangrel re-shoulders his weapon and continues to stroll toward the van. His gaze sweeps over the group, making sure none of the others are a threat, well to him anyway. "What the hell is going on here?" he asks with a bit of a chuckle. "Is this some kind of a joke? McDonalds mascots in a gang now?" Spider asks with a shake of his head. "What the fuck is this world coming to when a beloved icon like Ronald FUCKING McDonald is robbing people?"

As gun blasts go off, Otto flinches sightly. His head jerks about, trying to keep assess everything going on. There's a grimace as Grimace goes down from Spider's shotgun blast, before he spins on his heel to lunge for the clown. It isn't the most elegant leap, but as the redheaded clown drops his gun and begins to flee Otto catches him in the back rather messily. An elbow hits the man in the back of the head as he tries to tackle him and a twisted and gnarled knee is brought up into the man's ribs. He doesn't quite tackle him to the ground, but he is very pinned.

The man is struggles trying to get up as he lies there next to the dead Grimace, and the others in the car are long passed to the other side due to the crashing of car, on weak flesh. The smell of blood is filling the alley, it is the wrong side of town no cameras out here, and it takes the popo long time to come. For now the kindred, have time to figure out next actions.

Mark's response to Spider is to inspect his knuckles, "That fucker bit me when I punched him." He gestures to the nick in one knuckle on his hand. He humphs as if this is one of the worst put outs that could happen. He glances to The Bodach and throws him a casual horns, not lifting up high, just fingers out, "Rock on dude, now you're sure to get into that chicks hot yellow bikini pants."

"That is why you don't punch people..." Spider responds to the other Kindred as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Know what doesn't hurt when I hit with them? Bullets. I didn't feel a damn thing." he says to Mark with a chuckle. "Well that and claws, but those are only for special occasions." He sniffs the air, smelling all of the blood and looks at the others, "So what is up with these punks? Just regular thieves?"

Shelly snorts at Mark's biting injury. "At least he didn't //shoot// you." She points indignantly to the bloody blotch on her favorite (and possibly only) blue jumpsuit. She blinks in surprise as Otto scurries off suddenly with the wounded clown. "Hey..." It's only half a protest before she's looking at the mess around them. "What do we do with the rest of them?"

Mark shrugs Spider's advice off like a duck shrugs water, and peers with interest at Shelly's wound, then thumbs over at the cooling bodies, "Hey, don't mind us if you wanna suck some of that blood down and get that fixed. No judgement here." He holds his hands up like he's surrendering, to reassure Shelly that he's non-judgemental. As for the question of what to do with the bodies. "Fuckin' leave 'em. Freak accident, that van getting crushed and this guy getting shot. Totally believable."

Shelly hmms as she stares at the mess around them, but whatever's in the van might as well be like trying to get into clamshell packaging without any scissors or knife for this weakling. And so, with a sigh, she crouches down to take a bite from Grimace. "I still don't really believe this is happening..."

Mark takes a couple of steps back, hands still up, "Whatever you wanna believe sister, shotguns don't even hurt that much anyway. If that's everything fuckers, I'm gonna go see about some new sparkplugs, my fuckin' bike ain't running."

Shrugging at the comment from Mark, he pauses to watch as the Malkavian feeds on Grimace. "Son of a bitch. I never imagined I would live to see this..." Spider says with a snort of amusement. "I wish I had a camera." He glances between the other two and says, "Okay. I'm out before the 5-0 gets here. Have fun." Then pauses, "You need some stuff to fix your bike? Stop by the garage. We work on bikes." Then he heads back to where he left Mercy and his own motorcycle.

"I might be imagining things but... he tastes purple..." Shelly gives a shiver as she stands up, delicately wiping a bit of blood from her mouth. "Thanks for uhh... yeah..." She's not sure quite what, still a little rattled from it all, but she'll start heading off deeper into the alley and once out of sight... wrap up in the shadows again.

Mark shouts after Spider's retreating back, "Oh yeah, I'll just google Dickhead's garage, I'm sure directions will come right up." If Spider looks back he'll see Mark walking backwards and holding two thumbs up high.

This gets written up now that the Kindred are gone as one of those whacky odd LA things. It shows up on page 30 of the paper, gets mentioned once in a joke, and then is gone. The next over-the-top Florida Man story replaces it.