2020-08-23 The Ikea Zone
The Ikea Zone
Location: Ikea
Date and Time: August 23, 2020
Summary: You are now entering The Ikea Zone ...
Mood Music: "The Twilight Zone Theme"
With the Chantry in progress and one room cleaned out for Jinny’s workspace, the thought was made to make a trip to some of the smaller thrift stores that dotted the landscape around Los Angeles to find something for the room. A twin bed, perhaps, or an overstuffed recliner that would fold out into a temporary sleeping spot in the event Jinny needed to stay over one evening for Chantry business (and not for any other sort of business, thank you very much). Getting out of the Chantry and seeing the city was a good idea, too, giving them a little bit of togetherness without that togetherness being alone where shenanigans might possibly occur.
Pulling up in front of the Foreboding Jacobean in a vehicle that more resembled a contoured brick than a truck, Jinny rolled down the passenger window and leaned out to wave. Branded as a Suzuki Sambar that probably hailed from some time before 2000, the little truck was painted black and white and had a bodykit with a fairly recognizable name to Luu stenciled on the side: Rocket Bunny. The contrast of dark and light colors was fairly pronounced, with the name ‘Panda!’ written just behind the front wheel in airbrushed script. This little kei truck fits a very specialized niche in Jinny’s life. With a magnetic sign on the side indicating that it’s from her father’s repair shop, it’s obviously a shop truck used for parts but, when she beeps the adorable-sounding horn, it’s obvious that serious work went into this thing. At first glance, sure, it looks like a Hot Wheel with widened, flared fenders and a big exhaust, but as one gets closer, the paint work probably took a good 40 hours to get right, with the blacks almost so deep you could fall into them and the whites brilliant. And when Jinny opens the left passenger door for Luu to get in (and shows off the white leather-festooned interior), the gauges, display, and visceral rumble of the motor beneath the seat give the impression that whoever’s taking this ride is going to have a lot of fun.
“I think it’s a requirement that I borrow this the next time we go to an estate sale.” Jinny says to Luu, adjusting the rearview and checking her makeup in the flip down vanity mirror, a subtle splash of color on her lips and cheeks. “Three trips. Luu. Three.” She shows an index and middle finger, plus a thumb. “Three trips to get all that stuff you bought, Luu. And the truck rental alone was….” She giggles. “I guess it really doesn’t matter. I’m just glad that I knew a guy who owed a favor to the right people. Still.” Jinny shakes her head. “We’re just getting something that’ll fit in the bed of this truck, okay? It’s for the room in the chantry, and more than likely will end up with me asleep in it, covered in paint or in my jammies after a shower in the near future, depending on how things go.”
Establish boundaries. That’s the best thing. Just the thing to make sure that she doesn’t hurt Luu any more.
“Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.” Jinny says, channeling her very best Mean Girl as she twists the key, the rumble of the engine from the truck sounding more like a chainsaw then a normal-sounding motor. “And don’t worry. I’ll be good. No sliding around corners at 40 or anything.” She grins, pulls the large orange brake handle back to lock the front wheels, revs the engine to spin the back ones, and, with the symphony of squealing tires and smoke, off they go like a rocket!
Ascension requires sacrifices, exchanging some dreams for others, and so Luu is accepting when what was going to be the new shoe annex is colonized by a Dreamspeaker. Despite having been an only child with lots of space, little supervision, and the need to invent her own worlds, Luu is remarkably good at sharing and being generous, without being a doormat. With some it might be a problem, but Luu trusts Jinny’s aesthetic sensibilities, and she also knows that while the other Angeleno needs to be close by, there’s definitely such a thing as too close by; and having separate places to sleep is definitely now a firm requirement, if an unspoken one.
Waiting outside in Uniqlo, Nike, plain white high-top chucks, and Celine frame, her red-red Hello Kitty messenger bag strapped to her back, Luu quirks an eyebrow as the strange vehicle makes its way into her driveway. Scanning it’s form, Luu’s mouth hangs slightly open as her forehead scrunches, trying to process what might as well be a magick eye painting from another dimension.
The door normally reserved for the driver opening does in fact confirm that Jinny is inside, but Luu still makes her way over slowly. “Uh huh,” Luu says with a slight nod, towards the idea of borrowing this … whatever this is … for the next estate sale; it at least seems like it could haul a lot, and Luu tends to buy a lot when it comes to the esoteric collections of recluses who died alone.
Bed of the truck, she said bed of the truck. Luu nods, making sure she caught the right words, and also caught the wanderings of her mind before they got too far away from her. The Mean Girl impression gets a ‘well ok then’ head wobble from Luu, before she makes her way in, closing the passenger door behind her.
“Now I don’t want to tell you what to do,” Luu starts to say slowly, her face serious, as if she’s about to launch into something important, “but if we solve mysteries /before/ shopping, it will be much more economical. A new bed -- “ Luu manages to avoid wincing or letting on, but she feels that internally and wishes she had said recliner, or, no, that’s not good either, but something else. “ -- and other furniture is going to weigh the thing down and we won’t get as good gas mileage.” A beat as she adds, “Plus some guy dressed as a ghost might decide to steal a lamp or something.”
Looking side-to-side, Luu reaches forward and does a quick few rhythmic slaps of her palms on the dash, saying, “Let’s do it.” Damn it.
“Zoinks!” Yes, it’s a terrible, awful imitation of Shaggy that is followed by a grin and a giggle. “This thing, you don’t worry about gas mileage. I think the last time we checked it got something like fifteen per gallon if you really stomp on it. We’ll have to top it off after we do our trip so we’re sure it keeps fed and then, if you’re really good, we’ll slide around a parking lot for a while. Buckle up.” Jinny grins and guns the engine and, once Luu’s belted safely in, off they go, out the driveway and down the street. They’re making good time down the street when the first right comes up. Jinny pulls the handle, guns the engine, and like it was designed to, the back end of the truck slides out, tires squealing, as they go around a corner at 30mph sideways, leaving black marks on the concrete right near the curve. A perfect racing line.
She was telling the truth. No going around corners sideways at 40. Slower, though? That seems to be okay under the rules of their game. One hand is on the wheel, the other on the large orange brake lever, locking the rear wheels as she goes around corners and through traffic, maintaining the speed limit just barely. Yes, if they get pulled over she’ll probably get a ticket, but chances are she’s got a little bit of an idea where the cops and the cameras are. Yay for being a city gal.
“Mystery solving, we can do. I’ve just got to get you a chunky orange sweater and some mary janes and a pair of square tortoise shell rimmed glasses to complete the look. Your hair’s gonna have to be a reddish brown to pull off Velma.” A thought comes to Jinny as they draw closer to their destination. “Unless I’m supposed to be Velma and you’re going as Daphne. Hrm. You’d probably pull off the mini skirt better.”
Don’t think of Luu pulling off her mini skirt and showing off that perfect bottom.... Dammit.
“Um...so….” She slows down, thinking of the dentist and Formula-1 racing to take her mind off things as they start coming closer to a knot of used furniture stores. “It is your house, but our Chantry, so I thought It would be polite to get your advice. I don’t want to end up with something that ruins the feng shui of the place.” Pulling into a parking place, she lets the engine run for a second to cool down before turning it off, the *brap brap brap* of the rotary engine echoing off the buildings until it’s silent.
The place she’s chosen to shop is a small strip mall with several older shops that sell used furniture and one newer-looking one that sells the modular particle board stuff from China. Cheap and easily replaced when it breaks. “C’mon. Sooner we get the recliner, sooner we get dinner. Five Guys Burgers sound okay?”
Smirking at the ‘zoinks,’ Luu gets into the -- whatever it is that Jinny has procured for their conveyance -- and straps on a seatbelt. “You speak as if Velma and Daphne are the only two choices,” Luu begins to say, a little twinkle in her eye as she prepares for a rant. “They’re the two obvious choices, I’ll give you that,” she continues to say, “and for most women, they’ll probably be the two choices they consider, and I guarantee a fair amount will make some sort of joke about Velma Dinkley being a lesbian.” Of course Luu knows her last time.
“But, like, have you ever really looked at the cast of Scooby Doo?” Luu wonders, holding her hands in front of her, as if she was some sort of pot-head just noticing her hands for the first time. “I mean, like /really/ looked at them?” Turning her head slowly to look at Jinny as she drives, Luu drops the bombshell, “I’m not saying they’re all lesbians, but they’re all lesbians.”
“Think about,” Luu continues, turning her attention back to the road, “Velma, sure, she’s the obvious one and a Sapphic icon for decades, but still. There’s not just one type of lesbian out there, not one look, there’s a spectrum of looks, and the cast of Scooby Doo? They nail them all. I mean, when they started, no TV executive was going to greenlight a show about a bunch of mystery solving lesbian riding around in the van. Just getting Velma in there as is, was a subversive enough move, so with the rest? Well, the writers had to be as fluid in their descriptions of gender as people’s genders and sexuality are in real life. But take a look, maybe remove your glasses, blur your eyes a little. If you just saw that group today, and you didn’t know any details ahead of time, what assumptions would you make? Because to me it looks like a crew of mystery solving lesbians of every type and fashion.”
A small sage nod is given following this rant, and Luu really hopes it does a good job of preventing her from accidentally giving an answer that ends up with her explaining which of the Scooby Doo archetypes she personally identifies with versus which of the archetypes she personally crushes on.
“Then we should make sure to carefully manage the Feng Shui,” Luu notes, after feeling she’s successfully dodged certain parts of the Scooby Gang equation. There’s a moment where Luu almost steps right into the trap of explaining how beds should be organized, but instead she notes, “I’m sure we both have our ideas of how to organize ritual space. Feng Shui is a good short-hand, but it’s not the one way. Part of all of this is going to be learning how to work together, magickally, aesthetically, and just occupying the same space.” A beat as she notes, “but having storage space is helpful, because a place doesn’t just get decorated and forgotten. It lives and breathes with seasons. Things rotate through the home, whether it’s because of the Zodiac, what some Spirit said, or some interior Decorator’s ‘Hot or Not’ list.”
“You know...I can dig that.” Jinny says as she drives, contemplating the secret lesbianism on display in Scooby Doo. “Now that you think about it, they fit the cliques that were fairly evident in that time period. Fred’s the preppy lesbian, Daphne’s the girl next door, Velma’s the stereotypical 70’s lesbian with the bulky sweaters and the like, and Shaggy’s the crunchy granola lesbian. She’s even got the dog going on.” Jinny giggles quietly. “And it always turned out that their nemesis was the owner of the haunted amusement park or some other man in power, trying to claw back more for themselves from the people who rightfully deserved it. Very progressive, if you squint just a little. Okay, a lot.” She looks over to Luu, steering with one hand, comfortable in her little Kei truck despite it being half the size of a lot of vehicles on the road.. “Of course, we’re not going to delve into Scrappy. But at least they leaned into the kink a bit later with the Hex Girls. I mean, look at them? Thorn, Luna, and Dusk? Each with a wild hairstyle and form-fitting outfits? Sure, they were probably put there to appeal to the dwindling male audience, but honestly, with those outfits? Someone was liberally applying their desires on a kids’ show.”
Jinny is good and doesn’t press any more on the whole Scooby Doo thing. She’s using the whole driving thing as an excuse to not follow Luu down that rabbit hole. An impromptu game of ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’ starring the Scooby gang might bring some things to the surface that might not be the best thing for keeping their entanglements un-entangled. God, what if they both liked the same Scooby character? That’s another connection amidst the thousands they already have and makes it that much harder to think of the Chantry instead of personal pleasures.
“Okay.” Jinny says, manipulating a catch on the steering column as she gets out, giving it a twist and then removing the steering wheel (!) from its mount, taking it with her as an anti-theft device, slipping it into her shoulder bag and locking the door. “Since I’m taking Shoe Storage Antechamber 4-B as my workspace and temporary quarters at the Chantry, I’ve got a little space to work with. Ideally we’d find a wardrobe of some kind, a table, and a recliner, but you’ve already got the first two scattered around the house somewhere, so that leaves a recliner. Overstuffed hopefully. Maybe leather, depending on the price, but who knows? This is an excursion, and we might see something that absolutely would go perfectly that we weren’t expecting. Come on.” Jinny motions to Luu. “Let’s get that modular furniture place out of the way first. I want to see if they have a Malmö or a Trelleborg or whatever they call bookcases in Sweden.”
Temporary Quarters? Where else would she be staying? Was that a slip of the tongue? Quite possibly.
Stowing her bag over her shoulder, Jinny starts towards the store helpfully named Ingvar with a palette of Blue and Yellow to mimic the Swedish flag. How this place managed to open in spite of Ikea having a massive presence in the city is beyond her. Copyright lawyers must be salivating at the thought of bringing this store in front of a Tribunal. The glass doors slide open with a sterile-sounding hiss and she steps inside, every aspect of the place designed to move people from one place to the other and, hopefully, to buy and buy lots.
The scent of pine and smoke can be picked up as they enter, as well as the piped-in sounds of nature to underscore the careful combination of conservation and business that’s self-sustaining and green...or as green as a store that ships across the ocean and cuts down forests of trees can be, and the directory is front and center. Hmm. Jinny studies the hand drawn map of the store for a moment and finally reaches out to tap a spot. “Reclaimed Furniture. Oh, and it’s right next to the Recliner section. Perfect.” She turns to Luu and takes the small paper map provided. “Onward into the depths, m’lady! Onward to glory!”
And off she goes into the store!
“Oh, there’s definitely the patriarchal establishment angle,” Luu concurs with JInny’s reading, “but don’t forget how all of those episodes end. The Scooby Gang ‘unmasks’ the antagonist, who’s been posing as a monster in a decaying capitalist environment they seek power over. It’s about being closetted in part, but along with that the hypocrisy of politicians and businessmen who would rather die in the closet and betray their own community than give up any power by admitting their own identity and working for the cause. It’s no accident that Scooby Doo ‘came out’ the same year as the Stonewall Riots, and that the tactics used by the Scooby Gang are a metaphor of the ‘Zaps’ initiated by ACT UP.” A beat as she explains, “Subversion on a massive scale, and if you think this is just a coincidence being ginned up by someone too deep into a postmodern education, take a look at The Hex Girls and Lilith Fair synchronicities. ‘The Gay Agenda’ isn’t what people think it is, but our infiltrations go deep.”
“It was a two pronged assault going on with classic misdirection,” Luu continues to explain, “Scooby and the Gang were delivering tactical advice while comforting the youth. At the same time John Waters and Divine were being loud and filthy to rally the hipsters of the day while providing examples to adults of how to live your best life in public with no shame. Once he was successful in being able to live as he wanted, John moved right to subverting family films and musicals, and turned to a Fine Art Career.”
Glancing out the window as they roll through the LA streets, Luu continues, “These days most people have gotten the message, but there’s still a few places where we’re hard at work. I mean, you heard ‘Folklore,’ that’s not an album a straight person could or would make, and yet Taylor Swift will swear up-and-down there’s no gay content. She’s doing the same thing for the Country Music scene that Tyler Perry has been doing for years for Black Southern Baptists: making entertainment for a region and demographic, that’s pure art for the youths forced to live in the closet or maybe be disowned, and letting them know there’s a future. They recognize those cultures as a whole aren’t there yet, so they subvert and bring them into the future with entertainment, while secretly ministering to those trapped there.” A beat as she continues, “I get why some people who never had to worry about the closet might not get it, but at times one must hide who one is in order to help others, much like the Bodhisattva delays achieving Buddhahood out of compassion for all sentient beings.”
“Sorry, programming kicked in there for a moment,” Luu notes with a small laugh, “this goes deep and we’ve got agents everywhere, and we won’t stop until all of our people can live free. A small request for dignity, a large mountain to climb, and a subversive war we will win.”
There’s a slight sigh, at the mention of Shoe Storage Antechamber 4-B and the fact that it is the next sacrifice that she must make for Ascension. A weaker woman would have just turned it into a Caul right then and there, but Luu is strong and has come to understand the difference between inner darkness, Outer Darkness, and really cute dark mary janes. Suddenly realizing that modular furniture can be turned into shoe racks, should Jinny fall in The Ascension War makes Luu feel a bit guilty and practical.
As the vehicle parks in front of the store, Luu hops out, grabbing her red-red Hello Kitty messenger bag and strapping it across her back. Following along, Luu tilts her head slightly as she looks to Jinny and notes, “Get what you want, but remember you’re providing this same transport for the next estate sale we go to, and while you might put some of my shoe dreams on hold, you better be ready to live with a bunch of kitschy Bigfoot ephemera should the collection I’ve been hearing about turn out to be as amazing as they say.”
“I know, I know.” Jinny calls as she slips into the labyrinthine confines of the store. “We’ll continue our discussion of subversion of heteronormative culture once we’ve got my chair.” She giggles gleefully and starts down the main path.
Built in the remains of an old grocery store that’s been repurposed into a furniture metroplex, foot traffic goes in a very orderly, sedate sort of way. Shoppers start at the six o’clock section of the store and move mostly clockwise until one reaches the check out counters located at around five twenty-five. If one meanders and looks at everything, it would take about a half hour to wander the aisles of the store, with the record of six minutes twenty three seconds made by a competitive run-walk racer made during the grand opening. The picture of him dressed in a black and red bodysuit stitched with flames is still on display by the front door - a throwback to when the place opened six months ago.
“Oh, miss?” one of the sales drones speaks up as Luu and Jinny pass. “Please be sure to take one of the tablets. If you decide to order something from the floor, it lets the men in the back get it out of the warehouse and set up in time for you to get it loaded in the front.” She lifts a hand to her ear and makes a soft ‘mmm’ sound, responding into her microphone. “Yes, I see. Well, we’ll do our best.” She turns her attention back to Jinny and Luu. “I just got a call that there’s a little boy lost in the store somewhere. We think he’s hiding in one of the displays. If you see or hear him, would you mind hitting one of the call buttons on your tablet? We’ve got his parents looking for him already, but this place…” she rolls her eyes. “So many places to hide, you know?” A blink. “Of course, we wouldn’t think of asking you to do this for nothing. As a thank you, you’ll get fifteen percent off your purchase for helping out if the child is found during your visit.”
AKA please don’t sue us for your kid getting crushed by a couch or something.
Jinny pauses by the kitchenware section, seeing what Luu will decide to do before studying the map, ready to head back to the ‘reclaimed furniture’ section.
“Did she say men in black?” Luu whispers suspiciously as she eyes the tablet being handed to them. It took Luu awhile to realize any of this was happening, the space they had entered so vast as to almost have a Cathedral Effect. The transitions between spaces is always jarring, but Luu still weeks later is a bit shaken by the more extreme examples of such.
Listening to what the woman has to say about the tablet, Luu seems highly skeptical, her face lightly scrunching through the whole thing, but not saying anything more until the woman has departed. “Fifteen percent discount for helping find a lost child?” Luu finally says to Jinny when they’re alone, “doesn’t that seem like a perverse incentive to you? It’s like in Vietnam when they had a rat problem and the government started offering a bounty on killing rats. They’d pay per tail. Well of course, this ended with a larger rat problem. People started raising the rats as a cash crop, chopping off the tails and turning them in for the government incentive.” Thinking some more she adds, “It also seems like a good cover for a kidnapper. If you manage to snatch a kid, you get the prize you want, but if you fail, you just say you were turning them in, and now you get fifteen percent off.”
An older woman passing by and overhearing Luu glares at her, as if Luu was not pointing out the problems inherent in the system, but instead suggesting the criminal conspiracy that the two of them should undertake. Of course, Luu, devotee of the Ars Cupidiate, is also a master of the ‘bitch, what?’ face, and that’s all it takes for the woman to move on and leave the two alone once again. “People are weird,” Luu comments to Jinny, before adding, “Ok, so why are we here again and how do we get to the where of the part of there of our reason for being?”
“I don’t think she said anything about Men in Black.” Jinny says, looking up from the map where she’s traced a route with a blue ballpoint pen, circling where they’re supposed to go right on the page. It should be simple - a right, a long corridor for kitchen tables and chairs and the like, another right when you hit the wall with the posters, a turn back into the store, and finally a left where they should come on the reclaimed furniture. “I’ve heard a little about this place.” Jinny says as they start walking, her map in one hand, Luu right next to her as they go. “The reclaimed furniture is actually found in estate sales and stuff, and then they fix it up, give it a polish, and sell it almost as cheaply as they do brand new stuff. And you can find oak and maple and all sorts of things in really good condition.” But those aren’t recliners, Jinny, which is not what you’re looking for today. “And the recliners are right next to them, too, so we might be able to find lots of interesting stuff, like cabinets and bookcases.”
“They did that in India with Cobras, too. The English started offering bounties on cobras and, wouldn’t you know it, the people started farming them and turning those in. Then, when the British figured out what was happening, they stopped paying the bounties, so all these cobra farmers just let their...flocks? Swarms? Herds of snakes. Whatever.” She reaches the first right turn and continues, following the path. “They all got set loose and they had an even bigger cobra problem than they had in the first place. Hey, maybe that’s what that kids’ parents did? Get their kid lost in the store so they can get a discount? It’s just cynical enough of a world for that to be a possibility.”
“And we are here for a recliner for my room and anything else that looks interesting, as long as it fits in the truck bed.” Jinny says, turning to Luu before glancing down at her map, slows, looks behind her, and then looks in front. “Huh.” she says nodding towards the kitchen cabinets decorating the walls ahead. “I thought we were going through kitchen stuff already. This…” She taps her map. “This should be the bookshelves.” She makes a face and shrugs. “Must be an old copy of the map or something.”
“I feel so domestic,” Luu mumbles quietly to herself as they begin to make their way through the cavernous furniture store. “Lots of good things can be found in estate sales,” Luu notes, her voice picking up a bit, “I often will buy furniture there, hoping that I might find some secret stash of documents or such hidden in it. Usually I don’t, and then it ends up going out to someone else. Unfortunately, not something I can do often due to transport, but with the new Scooby Van, it might be something we’ll have to do more of in the future. I wouldn’t know how to refurbish furniture. Deconstruct it, sure, but that’s far from the same thing.” A beat as Luu comments, “Oak is nice.”
“There are a number of different collective nouns one could use for snakes,” Luu notes to Jinny, “but if you want to talk specifically about cobras, it would be a quiver of cobras. A bed of snakes is one of the few possibilities, but a bed of sloths is one of my favorite collective nouns.” Smiling happily, Luu notes, “It just sounds so right and snuggly, and you just want to hug them all.”
“But,” Luu says as she thinks about this, “you might be onto something with this whole children thing. There is the ‘quiverfull’ movement in certain ultra-conservative Christian movements. Not only no birth control, but specifically aiming to have as many kids as possible. ‘Go forth and multiply,’ and such. Like that reality show where they had eighteen kids, but more like eighteen employees, at least one of which turned out to be a sex offender. I mean, if people are doing it for discount tickets into Heaven, why not for discount furniture? Capitalism is often the true form of certain people’s religions.” A sigh is given, before Luu adds, “which is a shame, because those two things don’t mix particularly well, but each has the chance to do wonders if uncorrupted.” A beat as she adds, “And we’re back to snakes.”
Scrunching her forehead slightly, Luu looks to Jinny and says, “but isn’t the map digital? How could there be an old version? It's more likely a new version. They updated the map, but haven’t updated the store yet to match.” Looking around, Luu notes, “be aware of sudden construction. We might be in the Winchester House of furniture stores.” A beat as she enthuses, “Which would be soooooo cool.”
Stepping closer to Luu, Jinny leans over to bump her shoulder against the other woman’s. “That’s not bad, is it? Feeling domestic? After our visit in the theater the other day, the thing that I remembered and helped keep me centered, the thing that kept me going through the whole show, was the comfort I was in thanks to that well-put-together recliner. So we’ll get at least one and, if we can Tetris them together properly and feel super, super domestic, maybe two in matching colors. Or not, just to cause that vein in Alison’s head to throb at the sight of the things.”
Perhaps provoking Luu’s right hand isn’t the best idea, all things considered.
Maybe the map on the screen is digital, but the one Jinny was handed by the woman at the front, the one that seemed to be dated for today, distinctly shows that after that right they should have been finishing up housewares instead of entering into it. Weird. Still, the thought that Luu had that this place might be a maze earns a giggle. “Now Luu. I think hoping that this is going to turn into a Winchester House type adventure in a furniture store is a bit much. You don’t get people shopping if they need food and water to make the trek to living room furniture. And having half of them ending up lost in the winding trails or trapped in a dead end passageway, stalked by other hungry, lost shoppers, and hoping that one of the staircases they find actually leads somewhere and not to a blank wall...That’s probably wishful thinking, Luu. A bit morbid, yes, but definitely wishful” Jinny turns to say this to Luu, continuing along the passageway. “If it does happen, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. After all, nothing like that happens out in the real...”
*thud*
Jinny has backed into a brick wall. She blinks and peers down at the map, then back the way they came. Couches. Nothing but couches. She turns and looks up at the wall - a brick wall that definitely should not be there according to the map, but is most definitely here, along with a picture of the competitive run walker who did a lap of the aisles of the store in six minutes and thirty nine seconds. A young woman dressed in a black spandex bodysuit painted with white to mimic the movement of the wind over her body. “Wasn’t….” Jinny points. “I’m not going nuts, am I, Luu?”
“Matching or the same color,” Luu responds, her voice hurried, almost panicked at the thought of uncoordinated interiors. Hopefully this was a joke on Jinny’s part that it would be some other way. Shit, they’re not even dating and they’ve U-Hauled, Jinny’s taken over what was to be the new shoe annex, and now this thought. It’s all Luu can do to not shudder, and yet she still has faith in the whole enterprise.
“Wait, Alison, what?” Luu responds at the mention of her Personal Assistant’s name. Of course Jinny knows Alison, Luu’s sure she’s introduced them, brought her up a number of times, and they probably even did lunch. Probably. What’s this about a vein in Alison’s head throbbing? Given the context, Luu is utterly perplexed on the matter.
No time to think too hard on that subject, as Luu finds herself mock pouting at the idea that this isn’t a Winchester Ikea they’ve found themselves inside. Her hopes dashed like poor Aeschylus’s head. Why is it that the skeletons people have in their closet are always figurative, never literal? Well, except for that one girl Luu knew.
Lost in thought for a moment, Luu notices just enough to wince as Jinny walks right into a wall. “I mean … “ Luu starts to say, trying to think how to respond, “I’ve walked into stuff before. Usually it means I’m distracted, which I was, though me being distracted isn’t a reason for you to walk into a wall. I also think whether or not I’m nuts would probably take in all sorts of other evidence. The walking into stuff would be a minor footnote.” A beat as she scrunches her face and wonders, “You ok?”
The way that Luu quickly corrected Jinny’s joke about things not matching must have meant that doing such a thing would have offended her fashionable sensibilities, no matter what the comfort quotient was. If graphed out, every item that ever existed could be placed on that graph to indicate how comfortable and how fashionable it is. Some items would inhabit a point that indicated no matter how comfortable it was, the tackiness would make it unacceptable and potentially offensive. Conversely, no matter how well made and fashionable an item was, the potential discomfort would make it unacceptable, as well as potentially dangerous. Finding that sweet spot of comfort and fashion is always a balancing game, and it’s one that Jinny has watched Luu play over and over again to great success. Luu’s style had even rubbed off on Jinny a little!
Rubbing the back of her head and turning, looking up at the plain, unadorned brick wall, Jinny squinted with one eye, her expression a visible, wordless accusation that the stone obstruction just jumped out of nowhere and hit her. Turning back to Luu, Jinny shakes her head. “I was just teasing you about Alison. I know how particular people can get about some things, so I was assuming that mismatched recliners would cause her no end of frustration as she tried to work out how stripes and neon yellow cheetah print meshed with a harlequin-colored recliner in the context of the fashionable interior of the Mummy house.
“I didn’t walk into it. I backed into it.” Jinny corrects, stepping away and looking up, then over, then at the wall again, then down at the paper map she held, then at Luu’s electronic tablet with a different map; neither of which show a wall that’s supposed to be here. They might be reading the map wrong, but comparing the two briefly shows that some hallways don’t match. So which one is it? Or is it any of these?
And as the pair chat, another shopper can be heard making their way down the path towards them.
“Alison is used to my eccentricities by now,” Luu notes to Jinny, adding, “she’s pretty laid back. If she has complaints to make, I haven’t heard them. I wouldn’t worry too much about her. There’s something she knows that I don’t know, and we make a good time, but a lot of her role is to learn. It’s sort of that Wu-Tang Clan thing, give me five years of your life and follow what I say, and at the end you will be ready to be Empress of your own. The point is to set her up to go out on her own.”
Looking over Jinny for a moment, Luu wonders, “Are you ok? Like, I mean is your head ok, but beyond that, are you doing ok? I mean, maybe the wall’s not on the map, but mistaking the map for the territory? That’s not like you.” Tilting her head slightly, she adds, “Plus, walking into walls in general, whether forwards or backwards? I dunno.” A shrug is given, before Luu meet’s Jinny’s eyes and gives her a small smile, “Things on your mind? I mean, I imagine there’s a lot on your mind and in your mind, but anything you need or want to talk about? It might be a good alternative to walking into walls or having walls walk into you, and you know I’m always here to listen.” A beat as she jokes, “I know it’s not boy trouble.”
This question and the comment that follows causes Jinny to pause, rubbing the back of her head where the wall had bonked her, and looking again at the map, that indicates the spot they’re in - couches - is definitely where they are on the map here, on the map on Luu’s tablet. “I...I don’t know?” she stammers, slipping down to sit on the edge of a cream-colored ottoman with the helpful ‘Please do not sit’ sign posted right next to it. “I mean...I guess so. All the stuff we’re working on kind of has my head in a spin.”
As Jinny sits, Luu tilts her head to the side, looking over her Chantrymate for a few moments as she makes an attempt to assess the situation. “We have been going through a lot lately,” Luu finally acknowledges, adding, “It’s also been awhile since we ate. Dehydration and blood sugar fluctuations are a possible culprit, I mean -- “ Pausing, Luu looks around the store for a moment before adding, “ -- if we were in some sort of ‘other’ kind of situation? Probably be all sorts of things I might worry about first, but in this place? Well, normal place, start with normal problems, right? Tell you what, I’m going to go dash to that cafeteria they have, get you a water and a small snack, you just take it easy here. See how that settles things, and then determine if we want to stick around here and finish up, or head back and just do this another time.”
Reaching out, Luu takes Jinny’s hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll be back in just a moment,” she says with a kind smile, adding, “Ok?” With Jinny left to take a moment to sit on an ottoman, Luu rushes off to the front of the store to procure the promised supplies, hoping that will help Jinny out.
“Okay.” Jinny says softly, folding her map over and sitting quietly on the ottoman, looking at the speckled, polished floor that’s still showing signs of where the shelves of the grocery store were lined out if you look in the right way. Even the metal accents, each embedded in the epoxy, are buffed to the brass from their stainless steel by the passage of thousands of shoppers over dozens of years, and Jinny finds herself following them with her eyes. Back and forth, back and forth, under the rug and then out again over there. Oh, darn, she missed it. Start again. Follow them with your eyes, back and forth, back and forth, under the rug and then out over there again, around the lamp, around the table, back around to her feet.
The folded paper falls to the ground and she blinks. “Oh...dropped my paper.” Jinny leans over to pick it up.
The folded paper falls to the ground and she blinks. “Oh...dropped my paper.” Jinny leans over to pick it up.
The folded paper falls to the ground and she blinks. “Oh...dropped my paper.” Jinny leans over to pick it up.
The folded paper falls to the ground and she blinks. “Oh...dropped my paper.” Jinny leans over to pick it up.
Over and over again…
They’re known for their cafeteria’s meatballs, but now doesn’t seem to be the right time for such a thing. A few moments of choice paralysis overwhelm Luu, before she finally notices a small display of granola bars. Grabbing a peanut butter flavored one, along with a bottle of water, Luu pays up with a few dollars fished out of her messenger bag. Hoping Jinny’s doing alright, but not yet having a reason to be overly concerned, Luu makes her way back over towards where she had left the other Angeleno.
The folded paper falls to the ground and Luu assures Jinny, “Don’t worry, I got it.” Luu leans over to pick it up.
“Hope peanut butter is alright,” Luu says with a smile as she offers the snack and water to Jinny, along with the dropped piece of paper. “How were things while I was away?” she wonders, looking Jinny over for a moment, before joking, “and don’t tell me I missed a Bigfoot sighting over in the kitchen section while I was gone.”
And just like that: Jinny snaps out of it, taking the fallen paper and tucking it into her backpack, providing the multicolored woman a pleasant smile. “Nothing of note, really. No Bigfoot or Loch Ness monsters shopping, I'm afraid, although there was this man in a suit….” She giggles and gets to her feet. “Whatever it was that came over me is gone now. And we’re close to the recliners so...quick look through and then off to the next shop.” Jinny smacks her lips lightly, her attention scampering like a squirrel in a park before it's finally drawn to the green package in Luu’s hand. “Oooh, is that peanut butter?”
“mmhmm,” Luu responds with a grin and a small nod, handing over the granola bar. “Come on, let’s go check out some recliners,” she says, keeping her hand extended towards Jinny. With a slight bounce in their step, the two walk hand-in-hand to find some new seating for the Chantry. Accidentally leaving behind one blank piece of paper.
