2024-01-22 Dinner and Donations
Dinner and Donations
Location: Crossroads Kitchen, West Hollywood
Date and Time: January 22nd, 2024
Summary: Trans rights are human rights
Lunchtime at Crossroads Kitchen, and the crowd is not too excessive, but there's always a good crowd who gets a kick out of the place's novelty and the tasty selection. Not so crowded as to be intimidating, and just crowded enough for Cyrus to be able to blend in to said crowd. Especially as the place is just high end enough the occasional other celeb comes in for a little bite, leaving the atmosphere feeling 'fame-safe'.
A better place than Amanda usually comes, but the clothing she wears right now says that she's not inexperienced with 'dressing up'. It's not fancy, but it's certainly not ratty top and trousers, or oversized hoodie. It's 'thrift store chic': a little wear on it, but still looking good on her. She walks with her cane, though no weight is put on it; it seems to be there mostly for balance and as a just-in-case. And this time, she's not got the parrot with her. Most restaurants don't appreciate feathery poop bombers around, even if they normally allow Service Animals.
Once she and Cyrus have met up, she'll be glad to first defer, making sure that there's not a particular table or seat that he prefers, unless he... re-defers. Just because he gets first chance to pick doesn't mean Amanda's unwilling.
Fame safe or not Cyrus does his best to avoid any and all eye contact with the patrons of the Kitchen that he doesn't have to. He wasn't late, and unless she was more than seven minutes early she'd have found him standing outside in a heavy beige cashmere blazer with matching slacks and a chocolate brown pair of polished balmorals that shine even in the gloomy fog against whatever light they find--in this case meaning the exterior lighting of the high end restaurant. Clutched in a palm with all five fingers folded around the spine is a copy of Freudian Slip.
Despite his avoidant eye-contact policy he handles the conversation with the well dressed host politely but succinctly, asking for a booth in the back. He'll settle in across from Amanda and place the book on the table--if she opens the front flap she'll see Cyrus' stylized signature looping and twisting across the interior hardcover and the title page in an intricate ballet of ink. "Here, as promised," he says with a genuine smile. "I really appreciate that you enjoyed my work. This one is actually one of my favorites too."
Amanda reaches to accept the book with a warm, "Thank you. I hope you didn't think that this was what I was coming to dinner for." Dinner. Lunch. Apparently the same thing in her mind... or just a flippant and lightly joking tone. "I really do appreciate it, though." Amanda pulls it carefully toward her, spreading a napkin over the surface of it and putting it to the side. Apparently as a just-in-case when someone doesn't have a bag with them. "Mostly, I'm just someone who enjoys getting to know people. And you really seemed like an interesting person, above and beyond general book-stuff. So, if you want to talk books, I certainly don't mind. If you want to talk something else, I can happily scoot it to the side."
The menus come out, and Amanda disperses them between the two. "Oh, for transparency, your name came up when I and Sarita had a chance to chat recently. I hope that you don't feel too trapped by that, but I'd feel awful with just bringing it up suddenly if you wanted to keep your professional relationship with her quieter."
Cyrus' shoulders roll in an easy and relaxed shrug. "I had assumed that was what you were hoping to chat about but we can spend the time talking about whatever you'd like. As I told you, lunch is on me." His smile settles deeply into his face, seen not just in his lips and the rapidly-swelling dimples but also in the mirthful shape of his eyes and the subtle twitch-up of his eyebrows. "I assure you I'm not as interesting as the publisher alludes. Sometimes I feel like they want people to see me as Sam Spade," he says with a soft chuckle making waves in his voice for each syllable to ride.
"Oh, you met Sarita? No.. I don't feel trapped?" He ever so slightly cocks his head to the side when Amanda asks that. "I respect Sarita a lot. I've offered her a job and I hope she accepts. She's a talented accountant who's underpaid, under-appreciated, and doing work for a scummy company. If she doesn't take my offer but uses it as leverage to get into a better position elsewhere I'd write a letter of recommendation. I'm not ashamed of my professional relationship with her what-so-ever. But I do not do any business with Herman and Sherman," he clarifies.
Amanda grins at Cyrus. "Hey, I mean... the secret author, tucked up in a house on the hill and not coming out except for occasional events. I can understand why they'd want to." Her grin indicates the exaggeration she knows she's adding to that. ... even if it might only be slight, depending. "I certainly don't mind chatting about it some. I also want to be careful, because I know it's a more experimental style... or maybe not experimental, but it felt somewhat if not quite different than a lot of the books, when I checked through them. So I don't want to sound like that jerk-fan who asks 'Why don't you make more of this thing I like and not the things you like'?" She goes right into the nasally, whiny tone of 'jerk-fan' as she says that, too, making it obvious what she thinks of people like that.
"I mean, compared to a lot of the books, the accident and death portions of it were smaller than a lot of the others, with a lot of focus being placed on the psychological exploration of that existential horror. Of not knowing when someone would ask the wrong question of him. Or the question of 'How he knew it'... I have to admit, I really liked that you never explained that part. Like, it was less about the how and more about the feelings that came with it. Part of me hated that. With a passion. But .... I think it really made the story stronger for it, and the horror better, because there wasn't an easy answer."
A pause, and Amanda actually pinks a little bit. "Geez, I guess I am talking about the book after all..."
"In that one Owen didn't end up experiencing a lot of accidents and death first hand. That wasn't the point of his story," he agrees with Amanda, and explains all at once. "There are a lot of fan theories as to why. I wanted to leave the reader to come up with their own story about what happened and based on what I've seen on the internet about the book it looks like my attempt went well. I'd like to say that if you read deeply enough you can find the truth, but in reality I wrote in multiple possibilities, and some of the theories fans came up with I didn't predict but, probably could be just as true."
Her moment of self realization brings another vibrant laugh to his voice, rolling out of his chest like smoke from a steam engine in short bursts right after the other. "It's really fine. I'm happy to talk about my writing. It's how I spend most of my time. I'm very privileged and fortunate that I've been able to support myself just from doing what I love. Meeting fans isn't as terrible as it's made out to be, but I might be spoiled by not having my face on movie screens very often."
Amanda can't help but grin bigger, admitting, "Coming up with multiple theories does help keep it secret, and help keep the fans from saying 'No no, you're all wrong, Author. HERE'S why'. Because let's face it: there's some of those jerk-fans out there who do that thing." Amanda's amusement at that thought is immeasurable. "But really, I do love the story because of that. The only reason I say 'I hate it' is because I'm one of those people who wants to dig in, and wants to know why. And the fact there isn't a 'why' leaves part of me annoyed and disturbed. And... let's face it: I might be adding way too much thought, but that's probably part of it: a good way to help put the reader in that position of horror as well. At least, that's how I thought of it."
She pauses to refresh with water, nodding at what Cyrus is saying with an amused look. She brings it away and says, "I think it's good spoiling. I mean, it gives you the best of both worlds. It lets you be famous with some people, and when you want to go underground for a bit, you just have to put on the Clark Kent glasses and no one will say a thing."
Another light sip of that water glass. "Anyway, I didn't want to get so far off the topic: Sarita and I had our own lunch out. She wanted to hear more about Women RISE. The group I sometimes work with and plug for now and again. I think she's considering giving them some radio time, and if none of the primary group are interested in being the talker, I'll be happy to be the mouthpiece for them. Not that I want to be assumed to be anything but a very enthusiastic volunteer," she adds. "Just to be clear: I can tell people all about the group, and help out with them, but I'm not the one with all the inner workings, and I don't make the final judgments."
Cyrus listens to her explanation with narrow, focused eyes and his head twitching up and down in subtle nods, punctuating her points. When she starts to explain her meaning behind hating it he reaches a hand up, waving it through the air dismissively and batting her concerns away. "No, not at all. If you've read much of my work you'll know that I'm very intimately familiar with the concept of a love/hate relationship. I feel like if you don't know something well enough to hate part of it, you can't truly love it. You haven't accepted it's flaws, or at least the things that you want but that the object of your affection can't give. It's true of relationships with people as much as it is books, I believe."
"It's nice that I don't have to be afraid of going out to get my own cup of coffee, and that the flash of the camera is an occasional instead of a constant."
"If you're chatting with Sarita, you're already on the right track to get into my pocketbook." His wording choice and tone of voice clash: where normally trying to get into someone's bank account might be seen as a slight, Cyrus says it with an intensity in his eyes that feels impressed rather than irate. "But, tell me more. I'm sure Sarita will no doubt go over all the nitty gritty details with me, but what kind of work does Women RISE do?" He leans forward, resting his forearms on the table and clasping his hands together in front of him while his lips close softly together and his patient expression waits to listen attentively.
The discussion of the book can be set aside for the moment, apparently. Not that it doesn't seem Amanda's genuinely interested in discussing, but that part is unrelated to the organization. "First off, just to be clear, it wasn't the original reason I brought up lunch. That part, I just wanted to chat, get to know you, generally see what kind of discussion and connection there were. I'm pretty straightforward if something has to do with money. That said, I don't mind bringing it up and going into it, considering."
Amanda laces her hands and leans slightly forward. A comfortable, professional posture. So, 'RISE' stands for 'Resources for Innovative Support and Education. What Women RISE is is an organization that takes underprivileged and underserved women and girls, who for whatever reason didn't have a chance of education... financial, racial, gender, sexuality, disability whether physical or mental, delinquency and prison time... and they help give them that education and hopefully help them in finding jobs in choice careers or vocations. Students work in small groups and one-on-one with mentors, set their own curriculum and work at their own pace. Skills and interests are identified and cultivated, and the students can use those to go on and find job mentorship placements across the city with willing volunteers. Depending on how things go, they might move on to apprenticeship with those people, or paid internship, or potentially they will move on to full hires elsewhere."
Amanda pauses in her diatribe to get a drink of water, then continues, "The group is also active in support for those underserved girls and their families, to help assist them with the program. Therapy, medical assistance, transportation, help with bills and rent, child care, and the like. All resources available to help those girls achieve their goals."
His eyes stay locked in and focused on Amanda as she speaks. She can watch behind the focused stare of his eyes the way he memorizes and catalogs what she says. "That's very interesting. I'm currently involved with an all-gender charity organization that focuses heavily on providing medical care. But, and I haven't yet discussed this with Sarita, it's been on my mind to increase their reach and the type of care they provide. What I'm interested in is funding the production and distribution of hormones through the city at street level to ensure that people can get the medical care they need. I've been reading a lot about suicide rates, and the combination of being trans without recognition while also dealing with homelessness has some really harrowing results."
The waiter arrives. "Hi. Welcome to Crossroads Kitchen, my name is Angel and I'll be your server today, it's nice to meet you guys. Can I get you guys started with some drinks?" As he speaks, he starts planting the menus he carried clasped beneath his arm on the table in front of Cyrus and Amanda, the former of the two placing his palm atop it and sliding it closer before flipping it open.
"Sure--and thank you. Do you guys have sweet tea?" he asks hesitantly, giving the waiter a look like he's expecting a no.
"I could absolutely put some sugar in some tea for you."
"Thanks! Make it a lot. I'm from New Orleans."
"Absolutely, sir." The waiter then turns his attention to Amanda, the notepad and pen he wields held at the ready.
"Iced tea. He means iced tea," is quickly filled in by Amanda. A quick glance and sheepish smile at Cyrus offers apology for stepping on toes, possibly, but no doubt better than the possible surprise of a cup of hot tea with lots of sugar. Or at least she seems to assume so with the blurt-out.
"For me, I'll go with a tonic and lime... just the tonic; no alcohol in," she adds, to make sure it wasn't misunderstood. No sense getting a gin and tonic when she was asking for drinks. "Thank you." And down at the menu again, thoughtfully scanning over the selection before finally choosing, "I'll try the Mezze box, with... butter beans, mushrooms and onions, basmati rice, and the whipped feta. And can that get some grilled chicken with it?" Her finger hovers over the 'grilled chicken' option for the salads, indicating just in case. "Thank you."
"That's right," Cyrus quickly nods in agreement with Amanda as she corrects, but the waiter gives a little smile and a wink. "No worries. I knew what you meant. I have family from Tennessee," he says with a friendly casual cadence playing into his previously very customer service cultured and chipper tone.
"Got it. Tonic with lime, Mezze box, butter beans, mushroom and onions.." he repeats each part of what she says while he jots it down, carrying out the words with a melodic extension as he works through the syllables alongside his pen.
"Absolutely I can grab some grilled chicken for you," he promises with a beaming bright smile with two straight rows of pearly whites. Back to Cyrus--
"And are you ready to order yet, or would you like some time?" He's already pouring over the menu thoughtfully, and takes a moment to answer without acknowledging him. The waiter remains patient while Cyrus is lost in the text in front of him, no doubt a bit used to being ignored.
"Let's get things started with a cheese plate and impossible cigars. I'm leaning towards the tagliatelle but I've not made my mind up just yet, but we'll take our food after the appetizer anyway. So that will be all for now." He blinks as a sudden thought occurs to him, before turning to Amanda. "Well, unless you'd like to order a second appetizer. Do you like yogurt?" He presses his finger into the glossy menu text, indicating the Impossible Cigars. "They're delicious."
Amanda admits, "I could definitely have some appetisers. Thank you. I was looking at the cigars; I just didn't want to seem too greedy." Amanda smiles at Cyrus, and at the waiter as well, nodding an approval and acknowledgment to his knowledge. If no offense was taken on either side, Amanda's apparently fine with the whole thing.
"Perfect!" Jason, as the name tag tells it, says with that bright overly-friendly tone coming back. "Impossible cigars and a cheese plate. And I've gotten your order written down so don't worry, I won't forget once you guys are ready." He slips that pad and pen into his pocket and steps off and away into the buzz and slow murmur of conversation that rolls through the restaurant at lunch hour.
"They always come at the worst time," Cyrus says with a small grin once he's out of earshot. "I think we were talking about medical care? Is that something you could see Women RISE becoming involved in? Distributing estrogen isn't very regulated, it's only testosterone that requires some legal flexibility to work with, so this could help a lot of women." He's leaning forward again, forearms planted against the edge of the wooden table while that intense, focused look comes back.
Amanda gives laced hands. "Well, Women RISE is more about the education of women and AFAB people," she says. "The medical care would be very useful, I'm sure, but while I can't speak for them, I don't know how they would work out as some distributary source. Assisting with it is different. They certainly work with therapists and medics who are willing to give their time, of course. Medical care is a vital part of offering support to the community of girls who are learning and growing among them, though. It takes a village to raise a child, and that includes taking care of that child."
Amanda wets her mouth again with a small sip of water. "With regards to the group, I do know they have connections in several areas for being able to help out with HRT, particularly when costs are an issue. The group is primarily, as I said, for women and AFAB, though I do know nonbinary AMAB have been and are being discussed, with the primary concern being that the group is for raising up women, who are critically underserved in a whole lot of programs, especially for the sciences and tech."
There's a small nod as Cyrus' body relaxes and deflates slightly, a sense of relief showing itself surreptitiously in his posture and countenance. "I'm interested in helping people who are assigned female as well. However, I know that the distribution of testosterone is highly regulated. I'm sure if I could find the right people to work with that there would be ways to get around that red tape." He lets that sentence hang in the air for a moment, making sure Amanda has a moment to digest it before he starts again and moves on.
"But I understand. I'm more interested in trying to turn another organization I'm supporting in this direction, and having Women RISE work alongside those efforts could expand its reach--and it's a convenient way for me to make sure I don't end up supporting any TERF organizations," he tacks on to the end with a playful, rakish smile as he leans back slightly in his seat. "I'm absolutely open to exploring and funding scholarship programs as well. I think putting under-represented people into positions of power is one of the best things I can do. There's some awkwardness in being a rich white male," he admits with a coy tone and an expression to match. "I'd love to see more diverse voices in my peer group and financing that one day happening sounds very exciting."
Amanda shakes her head at Cyrus. "One thing that Women RISE is not is a TERF organization," she says. "The only gender-based concerns I have heard are for AMAB nonbinary, and that is because, and I understand that this is not going to be appreciated but it's the truthful words, the male privilege they hold allows them more doors than it might for AFAB nonbinary or especially transfeminine people. Most of the people they work with are girls, where hormones may not yet be a part of their regime, but that's not to say that they are turning others down cold, nor are they unsupportive if a supposed girl comes out as trans masculine later in life. I wish I could tell you details for how they handle puberty blockers, but it's an area that I haven't had a need to ask about, unfortunately. So that part, I can't answer you on." Amanda's palms open in an apologetic shrug.
"With regards to assisting the groups, it's something I'd have to approach the group with. Women RISE definitely would probably be happy to speak out on such things... I'm not speaking for them, so don't quote me," she adds just to be sure, "... but from what I know of them they support women equally. I'd be much more hesitant dealing with them if they didn't. The group's leadership and mentors groups are primarily staffed by women. High majority, both for optics and because to support women being in those positions, it's best to, if you'll pardon the bluntness, use women in those positions to teach. The group does have vetted male staff and job mentors as well, particularly in areas where finding women were difficult or small businesses where it had a tiny selection."
Cyrus' left brow ticks up suspiciously, arched high above his eye while the other dips. "I'm sure you're not saying that because they hold a privilege that they don't deserve the same level of medical care?" A bit of that tension flares back up in him while concern dominates the tone of his question.
Amanda shakes her head. "Not at all," she says. "The group is, however, organized around the women and girls they have as underserved people in the work force, and people who are having a much more difficult time getting that education." Amanda makes a sweeping motion with her hand. "That is completely separate from the concerns of transgender people as a whole. The discussions the group has are around those people in their support and their circle. In the bigger picture, everyone deserves the same access to medical care, transition, HRT, and whatever else is right for them as the people they are. But that is a separate and individual discussion from the primary work that Women RISE are performing."
He keeps pressing. "I see. When you brought it up as I was talking about having Women RISE direct people to other resources, it sounded like you were suggesting that they might not be willing to share information about access to medical care with certain people. I understand that Women RISE isn't a trans focused organization but I don't think that was the right context to bring up those concerns." His voice firm but softened all at once, like a mattress at a 7 on the scale.
"But I'm willing to let it go. If you bring up the idea of working with other groups and sharing information with their clientele about, for now, where to get medical care and later where to find HRT access if I can get that moving to the group and they respond positively I'll tell Sarita that I'd like to move forward with a regular donation schedule. Does that sound like it works to you?"
Amanda gives a nod at Cyrus' words, brows arching. "Ah, I see what you're saying," she says. "I thought you were talking about their internal support, with students, or if people came to them to directly speak for other organizations unrelated to them. Not if outside people came to ask them for support in general. For that, again, you'd have to ask the people in charge. As far as I'm aware, they're more than happy to indicate the groups they work with for those gender situations, all of which are perfectly fine working with any gender so far as I'm aware."
Amanda's own tone hasn't really shifted from the relaxed, but professional one. Indicating the seriousness in which she's taking this, eye contact regular, smile warm and welcoming, body language comfortably confident.
"I don't see a problem working with other groups. Just make sure you include documentation of those groups, so that they can appropriately make informed decisions on whether the groups you're working with are actively helpful to the community, or whether they are harmful to them in some way. Likewise, I can get you the paperwork for Women RISE for your personal information and for the transparency to your other groups, so you can make an educated decision." Amanda's smile warms at Cyrus. "Does that work for you in return?"
"Not exactly," Cyrus says. "I have a lot more money than I do time. Sarita isn't on my payroll yet, so I can't say she'll fully take over this project. That's why I mentioned you pitching the concept on my behalf, letting me know the results, and then I'd work with my accounting team--hopefully to include Sarita--and make sure the money flows. "I'm happy to help your cause but I can't commit to putting in the legwork. I'm on a leash, and my publisher's editors and agents have very high expectations of me and my output." Cyrus tends to produce about three novels a year.
"If this isn't something you have the time to do then I understand, and we can just talk about books or whatever else you'd like. If I had the time to put into meeting with activist groups I would, but unfortunately I have to pay people to do it for me. I hope you understand?"
Amanda nods, waving her hand off, saying, "I'll definitely bring it up with Sarita, then. I understand. She was wanting to bring it up on the radio anyhow, so if you're willing to go forward, I'll give her the same spiel about the paperwork. I just want to make sure all people involved are aware of who they're working with. After all, if they aren't already working with your medical group, there's a chance they'll want to add them into the network specifically to help out. Not just supporting them through word of mouth, but through direct utilization with students who might need that medical care, whether it be hormones or other medical situations."
"I can definitely pitch the whole thing for you. I don't see there being an issue with it. You wouldn't be the first person I've done such pitches with, after all." Amanda's warmth is definitely there. "It's just important to me that you have full transparency and awareness of where your money offerings are going toward, you know?"
"Oh, that's very important to me too. I like to see results, and I read the reports personally. If I don't feel like my money is being spent well or like the organization is having a real, viable impact, the cheques will stop," he says matter-of-factly. "And thank you. I appreciate that. You're already familiar with the organization and they know you, so you're way more likely to have luck with this than I am."
"Hey guys! Sorry to interrupt, I've got your cheese plate here..." Jason manages to come along right as their conversation is coming to a close--perhaps he heard Cyrus before after all. "Annnd the Impossible Cigars! Let me get the drinks--" that's a stacked tray he's carrying on one hand. Fortunately it's getting emptier and emptier by the minute, much to Cyrus' relief if the anxiety on his face is anything to go by.
"One sweet tea, and one tonic and lime. You guys enjoy, let me know if you need anything else, alright?"
"That's all for me, but if you could get the mezze box and tagliatelle started, I'd be very grateful," Cyrus reports with a kind smile.
The food is delicious, and the rest of the conversation fairly casual. Cyrus will prove happy to indulge Amanda on whatever topic she wishes while they eat and pays the bill with a very generous tip, leaving Amanda with a fuller belly than she came and a wallet no emptier before he gives a friendly goodbye and drives off in a Porsche Cayenne back toward Santa Monica.
