2024-03-12 Ms. Miller - Stillness of the Heart
Ms. Miller - Stillness of the Heart
Location: A Stroll on the Streets Near Zavarka Coffee Shop
Date and Time: March 12, 20121- 10:00 pm
Summary: Torn apart through Angela's transformation, Parker and her connect once more.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker eventually responds to Angela's interest in meeting up. Or maybe it was a text from him that he was back in town. Days, a week, maybe more, of him jetsetting around like he does for business or whatever it is that he does. His social media, if checked, was relatively normal for one of those trips. Him at various business meetings, events, and parties or dinners in the evening. Giving 'talks' to groups of industry leaders, and at night intimate meals with smaller groups. Still, he does return at some point and admits that to Angela, despite a distance in their texts and largely an inability to talk on the phone, his timezone being aligned with the time she is no longer 'available' now. When they agree to meet, he suggests needing a coffee. It's late, and he says he has a long night ahead. Maybe a stop at Zavarka before they close and a walk around the downtown area where that is located. Parker looks - well tired. His clothes are a little less pressed, his eyes a little darker, his hair a little less, deliberately messy. He's arrived well before the set time and is already standing outside the coffee shop with a cup in hand, leaning against the wall, sipping it as he watches people passing by.
---<Angela>---------------
Angela is... Angela... Parker may have been waiting for a grand entrance, a limo pulling up, new clothes, more bodyguards, but she arrives alone, her movements quickening as she sees him, if some strange otherworldly movements were expected, or perhaps a deadness to her eyes, or flesh, they don't show themselves, she's dressed in the rocker chic she wore more when they first met, and she's all smiles, her excitement hard to contain as she gets closer.
"I missed you!" she calls out as she gets closer, but she hesitates, what before would have been an instant hug, and pressing kiss, is replaced with some uncertainty, the star having a feeling Parker may not be ready for that, but she does lift her hands slightly, not like a child reaching out for its parent, but raised enough to show she'd really like a hug, but drops them if he doesn't offer one.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker turns as Angela approaches. His eyes lack that light they usual have and the smile on his face is performative, not alight like usual. If she could read his mind (and his eyes betray about six million thoughts all at once) she would see him trying to process this woman here, acting like nothing has changed and everything is changed. The same woman he held till she died. The same woman that isn't the same woman anymore. "Ms. Miller..." He takes a sip of his coffee and pauses, not returning the hug gesture she reaches out for. He stands there for a moment, still, silent, then gestures towards the sidewalk, "Let
---<Parker>---------------
Parker says "Lets walk for a bit, we can talk. I've been sitting on a plane too much lately and I need to move a little bit. How are you doing?""
---<Angela>---------------
Never has the light gone out of someone as quickly as it does Angela, her happiness collapsing quickly, her hands fall to her sides, fidget, then are stuffed into the pockets of her leather jacket, but she nods. "We... we can walk.. yes... and talk..." she turns to step with Parker, walking down the street, it's dark and she still stands out, but less than in broad daylight.. well... she'd be on fire in broad daylight but that's not the point.
"I'm glad you're back... I've missed you..." she opens with, glancing his way, hopeful for any sign that he knows she's still there.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker sees and notes the way the light goes out like that. It's hard to miss and he knows, or knew, her so well. If anyone could read her it's likely him. Still, he doesn't deviate, instead turning and starting to walk with the intent she will follow. "I appreciate that. I know there may be some fans that will try and take photos while we walk, but maybe that's better. Have to keep up appearances." He takes another sip of his coffee, rolling it around a little bit before swallowing and breathing out. "I had business to attend to. And I likely will continue to. Some things are developing that push me overseas a bit. And Cheree doesn't have much use for me - so I'm taking the time to attend to things I need to. As I trust you are as well." He turns his head and looks over at her a little, "I don't know what to say about missing you, Ms. Miller. I don't really know at all."
---<Angela>---------------
"P.. Parker..." it's not a question, more an obvious statement on his use of Ms. Miller, her steps slowing as she glances to him, there's a breath in, a slow exhale... one of someone gathering themselves, perhaps working to avoid tears. Though there are some Vampires Parker has met, mostly Toreador, that do this, it is still not common, and it shoud be noted that Angela is one of them.
"P.. Parker... come on... I'm not going to... push you." she says very sincerely, "But drop this Ms. Miller bullshit... p..please... I... I'm right here..."
---<Parker>---------------
Parker turns his head away and his eyes with it, taking a long sip of his still warm coffee. He looks so terribly tired. Slowly he looks back at her but he's not stopped walking. He might slow, but he's not going to come to a complete stop it seems. "I am following protocols. It has been made ever so clear to me that they are what matters. And you are not Angela anymore." At those words his eyes meet hers completely and the redness in them, if it wasn't visible before is certainly there now. "If you give me permission, I can call you whatever you like. But I have to observe the rules and we are no longer equals. Nor the same." Okay, maybe for those last few bits he comes to a stop.
---<Angela>---------------
Angela ends up slowing to a near stop... in shock at what's coming out of his mouth, Parker slows but doesn't slow as much as her, wanting to keep things going, and so she's suddenly hurrying up to him as he lays that last part on her, and if he was hoping to make her cry he's on the verge of making all his dreams come true.
"Wh..w..what?!?" she hurries up beside him, continuing to walk, but that sadness takes a very Angela turn as she starts to get agitated. One thing can certainly be said for the star, she is a ray of fucking sunshine until she isn't... "Protocols? PROTOCOLS!?" You listen to me right -fucking- now Parker Wilson... I dunno what -fucking- bullshit Cheree has shoved into that skull of yours... but I am -fucking- -FREE- of it."
There's a long sigh as she reins herself in, reaching up to rub her eyes a bit, "S..sorry.. I'm sorry... Parker... baby... I'm still here..." she reaches out to just touch the arm of his jacket, watching him as they walk, the touch doesn't stay, she just wanted contact with anything to do with him, and once she had it, she relinquishes her hand.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker does try, for his part, to adjust his speed, his cadence, to keep up alongside her. Faster, slower, he doesn't try again to separate them physically with any changes in speed, instead giving her subtle non-verbal cues that he might be pausing or increasing. Still, when he laughs it is a cold laugh. A dark one. One with pain and irony and hurt in it. "You aren't anymore free of any of it than you were at any point since I brought you into this stupid fucking thing. In fact, you are even more a part of it. Now you /are/ the protocols and the rules and the heirarchy." He shakes his head and tosses back the last of the coffee, tossing it into a nearby can as they walk by it. "I know you think you are still there, Ms...Angela. But I've seen too much to know that is true. I made promises to Angela. Promises I intend to keep to you. But you aren't ever going to be completely her again. And we aren't going to ever be completely -us- again." He looks over at her, reaching out a hand, "I know Angela loves me. Loved me. But she died. I watched it happen. And I've seen far too often that whatever comes back isn't the same. No matter how much you want it to be."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela slides her surprisingly warm hand into his, come to think of it... she's also not the pale corpselike visage of most other Kindred...
There is a gentle squeeze, "Parker..." staring back into his eyes, "The woman you loved... is changed... but she's still right here..." there's a soft sigh, "I won't pretend to be all knowing... that this was our best choice... but it was -a- choice... instead of being slaves to them... maybe I'm just further up a ladder made of shit... I fucking don't know." she taps the side of her head with her free hand, "But my mind is free... trust me... you don't truly know the sway the blood has until it's gone." there's a shudde through her body, she smiles at him eyes on his and digs into her pocket before putting her other hand out to also hold that same hand of Parkers, stepping closer, not uncomfortably close, but close, "You need to give me a chance... y..you can't just shut me out... that's all I ask... I... I don't know what I'll do if you shut me out..." the hands holding his shift to push something into it, "I want this back one day..."
---<Parker>---------------
Parker is still holding onto her hand, maybe out of surprise, or maybe just because he doesn't know what else to do. It's the woman he loves, the woman he's been grieving, right there. And not. All at the same time. "I know the hold Cheree has over me. I know I adore her. And hate her. Whatever you've discovered in this process is not something I want for myself. I'm resigned to the fact that I will die a slave to it one way or another. Maybe that's what I deserve." He gives a little shrug, still hand in hers, as he slowly turns his hand to see what is in it. ".....Fuck." A shudder, a shake through his body. A sound, like pain, or a whimper of agony. Breathing in, trying to steady himself as he looks down at the key, at the ground, at anything but her. "How are we supposed to do this?" He's not looking at her, "How am I supposed to give you a chance when I can't trust you? You aren't -you- anymore. Why don't you get that yet? Hasn't Asenath or Elizabeth or any of them taught you that? You can pretend, you can put on a show, but the things you want and need aren't compatible with an -us- anymore." He pulls away from her then and takes the key with him, turning completely away and clenching his fist. Squezing that key so hard and so unnaturally strong it's going to be bent when he opens up his hand again. "I don't want to shut you out. This is so fucking hard, Angela. But you are acting so fucking naive."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela steps slowly up behind him, but does not dare touch him right now, "What I need... what I neeeed?" she sighs, there's an extended pause before soft slightly pleading words, "What I need.. is you..." she shifts from foot to foot, "Remember what you said? You held my hand... you said... 'I'm here... I'm not leaving...'" there's another soft sigh, "You remember what I said?" she asks him... "I'm here to.." she ads softly, "And I still am..." and with that her feet shuffle and Parker hears them as she begins to walk away.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker turns as he hears her walk away and takes a few quick steps towards the woman, reaching out a hand towards hers to grab it and pull her back towards him. If he still can that is. "I said I was not leaving and I meant it. Then you left. It may not seem like it to you. But You. Fucking. Left." He's still holding her hand though, it happens to be the hand with the key in it. The key that is most certainly bent now. "Of course I still love Angela. I don't think I'm capable of stopping that. Even if I wanted to." He gestures to the woman in front of him, "But this woman here, she's going to want to feed. She's going to want sensations and things that I don't want. That I don't want her to want. And I don't want to watch her want. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?"
---<Angela>---------------
Angela is certainly now weaker than Parker, the strength of a ghoul no longer with the pink haired woman as Parker brings her quickly to a stop, in fact, she's actually look back in surprise, having grown accustomed to her strength, a little glance down to his hand, then back up at him.
She does quickly look around as they have it out a bit in public, but it's dark out, people are busy with their own lives.
"I saw no other way... I had a chance to break those bonds, and I took it." she steps right up to him, close, intimate so the words are shared just between them, but damn she's close, "I gave you a chance to make a plan... to figure out an alternative to becoming... -this-." she leans in closer to his ear, lips brushing it as she murmers, "But we both knew there was no other path... but death. Final or temporary..." her hand rubs up the outside of his arm, "I have chosen temporary... final is still a fucking option... and is not far from my memory..." her hand slides up and down his arm, she stays close to him, her lips to his ear, his in turn to hers.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker tenses up when she gets that close. In a way that is such a terrible combination of his longing for that physical closeness with her, and a terror. A fear in him that causes him to freeze up completely and put up a hand between them in some sort of attempt to keep her at bay. An attempt that is half-hearted and uncertain. Like his instincts are telling him to push her away and his heart just wants to wrap her up and not let go. It takes time, heavy, silent, heart-pounding time for him to finally get past the freezing to speak. And his voice is trembling with that same combination of conflicted emotion. "I told you. I made Angela a promise. One I intend to keep no matter how hard it is. I think that includes not letting you sink down so low that you try to end yourself. Or me."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela draws back so they're face to face, that hand on his arm slides up it and over his shoulder, his neck, up to his hair as her eyes wander a little, seeing him again up close after a while. Those fingers lightly play with with his hair before she returns her gaze to his eyes, words... she takes a slow breath, there's a small look of annoyance as Parker keeps dancing around her not being Angela, and it shows, but for all the words that came ot her, every biting angry word.... they're gone as she sinks into his eyes once more, softening away any annoyance she had.
"I would like you... to call me Angela..." she says softly, blinking back at him, "It will help me greatly in not sinking down that low... to hear those words from you." her lips purse, her smile after warm, "Until you believe them... or I fall apart... ok?"
---<Parker>---------------
Parker still looks a bit skittish, being this close to her like he is. But her hand on him, dammit if it doesn't feel natural to close his eyes just a little at that touch. He's fighting it maybe, or maybe it is fighting the fear. Either way, he opens his eyes on hers as she speaks and he nods his head slowly "Alright. Angela...." it is at that moment, closely held, eyes together, her name spoken out loud without the verbal fuckery he's been doing referring to some other Angela...that he breaks. His eyes close again and this time the tears come freely before he opens them, "Why did they have to go and make this so fucking hard?" Of course this is going to end up in some social media or gossip rag. Wilson and Miller standing somewhere together and he's crying like a baby. Did she break him? Break up with him? What is going on. News at 11.
---<Angela>---------------
Angela wraps her arms around him, holding him close, one hand running up to the back of his head, holding him tight as she offers a soft, "Oh baby...." she sighs against him, softly stroking, "I'm here for you... but no matter what you think...." there's a little pause, "You have to believe that I at least beliiiieve I am her... alright?" holding him lovingly, "If you want to keep that promise? To keep her alive? Then I must believe I am her... and I do... I truly do... I have to.... I fucking have to." gently stroking his hair "Because if I'm not her..." she shakes her head, "I don't know what I'll do..."
---<Parker>---------------
Parker leans into being held, and slowly, not quite reluctantly, his arms wrap around her now for the first time since everything changed. He holds her too, and holds onto her like he used to. He just simply nods his head against her, starting to calm himself down, the tears slowing a bit. "I know you believe it, Angela. I'll try..." He sighs heavily and then starts to pull himself away from that embrace, still holding onto her but not wrapped up like that. There is a long pause, he's trying to say something but the words aren't coming. Until they do. "I miss....you."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela nods understandingly... the meaning in those last words beyond just a simple passage of time, "I know baby... your heart is fucking shattered." she sighs, but she smiles, it's like she has him back for a moment, perhaps longer, perhaps less, but she fixes his hair, then his jacket at the collar, brushing her long slender fingers over it, straightening him out, lost in his eyes.
"Parker Wilson... you are a good man... and I'm not quite sure what I ever did to deserve you." she takes a deep breath in, a slow exhale after, "I know you need time... just don't shut me out... please... promise me... even if you have to fucking fake it..." her voice cracking at those last words at the idea of him faking it.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker doesn't stop or protest as she fixes him up a little bit. When she calls him a good man, he simply shakes his head in protest. "Enough of that. I don't know that I understand what happens now - and I can't possibly understand what it is like for you. And I don't want to. But I do still love you. Or this wouldn't be so fucking hard." He looks down for a moment, then back up, "You were the one thing in my life I actually earned just by being myself. And I don't tihnk I'm ever going to forgive myself for that. But I owe it to you to keep showing up."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela stares into his eyes, her hands lightly sliding over his shoulders and down his arms to take his hands, "I'm here when you're ready... for... whatever you're ready for." she says awkwardly, offering him a little half cocked smile, "But you need to make that decision... you already know where my heart is... and I don't want you to feel forced in any way."
---<Parker>---------------
Parker reaches up slowly with a hand towards the side of Angela's face, to hold it if she doesn't pull back, to brush at her cheek, her mouth, her neck if she'll let him touch her. There is maybe a moment where he's hesitant, her temperature is just off. Not quite right even if it's not entirely wrong. Still, he touches her like he has before with love and affection even as his eyes betray a mix of some of the other emotions of the evening. "I have a request - don't bite me. Please. I don't know if that will be hard or not for you. But I don't want that. Not right now."
---<Angela>---------------
"You don't have to rush this..." she says softly, but her lips get way too close for not rushing anything, riiiight there. The pink haired beauty doesn't move much now that Parker seems to be returning some of that affection, probably not wanting to scare him off, she just blinks back at him, her smile warm and genuine, at that request she returns a small few nods, "of course.. never..."
---<Parker>---------------
Parker is confused as hell, if she can read it in him. It's Angela. It's not. He's missed her, who is this? All the things and all of them all at once. He give a little shrug of his shoulders, as he leans in and closes the distance between his lips and hers, pressing them together as his eyes close. It is a bit more chaste than celebratory like they used to do. A bit uncertain, but no less loving from him. Just nervousness perhaps before he pulls back. "I'm sorry this is so hard. I don't know what to do and I feel so helpless."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela sinks into the kiss but certainly doesn't devour him, just happy that he was able to take that step, as they break and he speaks there's only care and love in her face, that beautiful smile as she stares back at him, "I think we are way past things like... nothing Worthwhile ever comes Easy... but we are far past 'hard' baby..." her expression and smile change to a knowing one, they're kinda fucked... they're just different kinds of fucked.
"Know that I am in this with you... no matter what anyone says... you are not alone..." her lips purse and she offers him another brief soft kiss, "What does your heart tell you?" she asks, placing her hand slowly over his chest, that beating pumping heart, eyes seeking his, "Mine is still... but in that stillness I can still hear its voice... louder still."
---<Parker>---------------
Parker looks down at her hand on his chest, then back up to Angela's eyes. A soft smile slowly creases his face. It's still not the enthusiastic and enchanting grin he normally has, but it's something. "My heart wants you still. Of course it does. And it's scared as hell." He laughs lightly, "Will you come back to my place? Just be there with me?"
---<Angela>---------------
"Hell.. I'm fucking scared... you better be." she cracks a little laughing smile, nodding, "Of course I will... anything you want..." she smiles and moves to walk with Parker down the street, to continue on to his place or catch a cab or call a driver or uber, whatever he decides.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker just walks, it's not far really, and he does reach out and take her hand at some point as they just make small talk, heading to his place. Getting to his place he brings her inside and suggests just curling up together and watching something like they've done before. He just wants to be around her and 'pretend' like things are normal. He's quiet, and as much if not more cuddly than usual. Her temperature is odd, but he's not shying away from it, even as he's uncertain and at times...surprised by it. And yeah, there are moments where if she leans in a little close to his neck he's apprehensive. But he keeps trying, and his heart keeps beating steady that he doesn't want her to go until she has to.
---<Angela>---------------
Angela is happy to just be there with him, she's attentive, charming, and loving, she does everything she can to make him feel more comfortable as they watch a couple of movies and make whatever small talk they can into the night. As it gets closer to when she should leave, she's apprehensive, wracking her brain with how she could stay but in the end it's simple, "I... I don't want you to see me... sleeping here yet." she says awkwardly, "You've got enough shit going on in your head... you don't need that added to it... yet..." she certainly doubles down on the yet... like she wants to do it eventually but now is probably not the best time.
---<Parker>---------------
Parker nods his head and reaches out for her when she's apprehensive now, "I wish you could stay. And I hate this part. Or thinking about this part and now really here." He sighs and breaths in, then leans in for a kiss which is a bit more like the 'normal' ones for them of nights and days past. "Go where you need to. You know I'm here for you. You don't make things easy Angela - but I'm not going anywhere."
---<Angela>---------------
Angela presses into that kiss, wrapping around him, the kind of kiss that could certainly grow into the two of them wrecking the living room if they're not careful, but eventually it's broken, possibly mutually as she draws back, lips pursed, "That's why you love me..." she says, the corner of her mouth smirking back at him before she kisses his lips once then pulls away to slowly untangle herself from him, "I'll talk to you tomorrow baby... get some rest.... have all the best dreams." she smiles and baring anything Parker ads into that conversation, she heads out to get to safety before the sun rises.
