King Breweries

Everyone enjoys a good cold one now and then. It’s just a way to blow off some steam. No matter if it’s a Sam Adams, a refreshing Coors Light, or an imported Guinness, no one can call you an alcoholic for having a nice beer after a long day, right?

Unless you’re drinking Blue Stripe by King Breweries. Then you’re probably even worse off.

King Breweries and Distilleries is a subsidiary of Pentex that is committed to spread alcoholism in a vicious combination with Wyrm-Taint. They operate mainly in North America, but have subsidiaries of their own all over the world.

The King Family

The King family came to Colorado back in the days of the frontier, when men were men and needed booze. The King’s patriarch decided to begin a brewery in the Colorado territory, and soon made a fortune off desperate settlers desperate to drink. Since then, the King family has owned, wholly and totally, the King Breweries. In the late 20th century, King Breweries eventually became America’s third most prolific alcohol distributor under the stewardship of the ‘Old Man’, Dexter King.

Although the Kings were violent misogynistic and racist bastards to begin with – that wasn’t enough for Jeremiah King, the son of the demented old King Breweries patriarch. He managed to arrange an alliance with Pentex – and with their support – took over his father’s company in a (nearly) bloodless coup. The ‘Old Man’ had an apoplectic stroke from the news, whereupon Jeremiah confined his dear old dad to life support for the next two decades, keeping him alive to gloat about his success until the old bastard finally croaked.

Tonight, nearly all other Kings are loyal (or at least feign loyalty) to Jeremy, and under his rule, the King empire has expanded immensely over the last twenty years. The key is volume. Where other beer distributors try to make a profit for each shipment made, King cares only that as much alcohol as possible is sent across the nation. Today, King is perilously close to realizing his dreams of becoming America’s leading beer and liquor distributor.

Most frighteningly, King knew all about Pentex’s real goals. He knew exactly what he was getting into, and he has embraced it. To King (now an old man himself, and increasingly concerned about his own mortality), it is a chance to gain the power he, and he alone, should rightfully have. He knows what he has to do to earn it, too.

The purpose of King Breweries is exactly what people have been accusing the beer industry of doing for years: Turn the people into drunks and slobs of the worst kind, doing nothing but drinking King. College students waste their time and effort. Workers become hungover morons at their jobs. King has spared no expense in making sure his marketing for the primary product highlights exactly what he thinks of the average America. Slobbish, fat, and stupid. It’s paying off like no one could ever believe.


Kings isn’t just a beer brewer. With Pentex’s aid and Jeremy’s vision, it has acquired a massive network over the last two decades. Of course, the mother of them all, King Breweries itself, is a round-the-clock operation with more security than many would expect from a beer company. Astride the Colorado River, the brewery pumps out massive amounts of waste while marketing to the lazy men of America and giving the college demographic something to drink on the cheap.

Other subsidiaries include: King Spirits (the hardest of liquors), King Imports (worldwide smuggling), Ruskaiya Distilleries (amazingly, it really is just cheap vodka), Dragon Valley Wines (a well-received mid-range wine grown in Napa Valley…yet don’t stray into the vineyards) and more.

However, the worst of them is Blue Crown.

Blue Crown

King Breweries & Distilities
-King Waters North America Inc
–Blue Crown

Blue Crown was born out of the wreckage of King Breweries’ disastrous foray into the diet soda craze – which after getting their pants beaten off by real monsters like Pepsi and Coke, made similarly plaintive attempts at breaking into the club soda and tonic water market. However, there was just no competing with the likes of Canada Dry or Schweppes, which had the same ball sweat taste, but half the banes. The death blow came from Coor’s Zima in the late 90s.

It was unsurprising that when Jeremiah King pulled the trigger on aligning with Pentex, that Thaw Beverages was one of the first subsidiaries to be taken behind the shed and shot. Along with most of its executives. However, there was one young Vice President of Logistics that managed to avoid a messy retirement: Valerie Sinclair. This was all the more impressive since Jeremiah King is a notorious misogynist and goes out of his way to discourage women from upper management.

Valerie Sinclair is a visionary in her own way – she sensed the rising tide of the bottled water craze, and had pushed for the company to diversify into such products with such insistence that she was nearly fired on several occasions. She correctly intuited it as the ‘scam of the century’, with bottled water 300 times more expensive than tap and virtually indistinguishable. She begged Jeremiah King for one chance – just one chance – and after he made her get down on her knees and beg a little more (or a lot more in this case) he finally gave her that opportunity.

Twenty years later, the bottled water industry is one of the most profitable on the planet, boasting a market thought to be worth almost $500 billion as of 2021, and set to grow by 10% each year. More than a million plastic bottles are bought around the world every minute to sustain this leviathan – that’s roughly 25,000 bottles every second. These mind-blowing figures are thought to be driven by concern over contaminated water in certain areas (often no thanks to Pentex itself) and the Western world’s increasingly on-the-go culture. There were nearly three quarters of a trillion bottles of drinking water sold just last year. The vast majority of them virtually unrecyclable.

Blue Crown & California

Blue Crown, the multinational beverage corporation, has faced multiple legal controversies in the state of California. Here are some of the most notable ones:

  • Water extraction during droughts: Blue Crown has been accused of over-extracting water from California’s natural resources, particularly during times of drought. The company’s water bottling operations in the region have come under heavy criticism, with activists claiming that Blue Crown’s practices exacerbate water scarcity for local communities and ecosystems.
  • Expired water permits: It has been alleged that Blue Crown continued to extract water from California’s resources using expired permits. In some instances, the company was accused of taking water without the necessary permits, leading to legal disputes and increased scrutiny of their operations.
  • Impact on local ecosystems: Environmentalists have raised concerns about the potential long-term ecological impacts of Blue Crown’s water extraction activities in California. They argue that the company’s practices may contribute to the depletion of water sources and the disruption of local ecosystems, ultimately threatening wildlife and natural habitats.
  • Public trust doctrine violations: Critics of Blue Crown’s water extraction practices in California argue that the company is violating the state’s public trust doctrine. This legal principle holds that certain natural resources, such as water, are held in trust by the government for the benefit of the public. Opponents of Blue Crown’s activities claim that the company’s water extraction unfairly prioritizes corporate interests over the well-being of the public and the environment.

In the face of these controversies, Blue Crown has maintained that its operations in California are legal and sustainable. The company has also stated that it is committed to responsible water stewardship and to working with local communities and regulators to ensure that its practices do not negatively impact the environment or the public’s access to water.

Blue Crown’s Thirst for Profit: The Environmental Impact of a Water Empire

In less than two decades, Blue Crown has transformed from a small water bottling company to a multinational behemoth with a dominant presence in the $500 billion bottled water industry. However, the company’s rapid rise has been marred by allegations of environmental exploitation and questionable business practices. Under the leadership of CEO Valerie Sinclair, a former Thaw Beverages executive, Blue Crown has been accused of prioritizing profit over the environment and the well-being of local communities.

In 2001, Blue Crown began extracting water from the San Bernardino National Forest, a practice that has continued despite California’s severe droughts in recent years. The company has allegedly relied on expired permits and legal loopholes to justify its water extraction activities, raising concerns among environmentalists and local residents alike.

The impact of Blue Crown’s water extraction on the San Bernardino National Forest has been significant. Local ecosystems have suffered as rivers and streams run dry, with wildlife populations declining due to the loss of essential habitats. Moreover, experts argue that the company’s actions may violate the public trust doctrine, which stipulates that certain natural resources, including water, are held in trust by the government for the benefit of the public.

In 2009, Blue Crown launched a new line of bottled water, advertised as being enhanced with vitamins and minerals for health benefits. Independent testing, however, has raised concerns about the purity of the water, with some samples found to contain trace amounts of unidentified substances. The presence of these substances in a product marketed for health-conscious consumers has cast doubt on Blue Crown’s commitment to transparency and consumer safety in the minds of some, whom the company dismisses as ‘cranks and activists’.

In 2013, amidst one of California’s most severe droughts, residents near the San Bernardino National Forest were shocked to discover that Blue Crown had continued to extract water from the already strained local sources. The company had relied on permits dating back to 1947, which had become a point of contention among local residents and environmentalists. Despite the growing concerns, Blue Crown managed to dodge any substantial repercussions by navigating the murky waters of legal loopholes and bureaucratic red tape.

One particular incident in 2017 highlights the devastating effects of Blue Crown’s water extraction on local ecosystems. A once-thriving fish population in a small stream running through the San Bernardino National Forest was nearly wiped out when the water levels dropped dramatically due to Blue Crown’s extraction activities. The stream, which had provided a critical habitat for several fish species, was reduced to a mere trickle, leaving many fish stranded in shallow pools and unable to survive.

In 2019, Robert Jeffries, a whistleblower within the ranks of the state’s regulatory agency came forward with allegations of bribery and corruption involving Blue Crown and several government officials. According to the whistleblower, certain individuals responsible for overseeing the company’s permits had accepted financial incentives in exchange for turning a blind eye to Blue Crown’s questionable extraction practices. The revelation only served to heighten public suspicion and distrust of both the company and the government officials meant to hold it accountable.

Among those implicated in the alleged bribery scandal was a high-ranking official in the state’s water resource management agency, who, according to the Mr. Jeffries, had received substantial sums of money from Blue Crown over the course of several years. “It was common knowledge within the agency that this official was on Blue Crown’s payroll,” the whistleblower claimed. “Everyone knew that as long as the money kept flowing, the company could get away with anything.” This official’s name has been omitted, since this journalist’s editorial supervisor has informed him that the Los Angeles Tribune’s liability insurance for libel has already reached its limit, this year.

In response to the allegations, a local environmental activist, Rachel Martinez, expressed her outrage: “This level of corruption is absolutely sickening. We’ve been fighting for years to hold Blue Crown accountable for the damage they’ve caused, and now we learn that the very people who are supposed to protect our environment are actually working against us.”

Despite the damning allegations, some have come to the defense of the accused officials, arguing that they have been unfairly targeted by opponents of Blue Crown. “These accusations are nothing more than a smear campaign against dedicated public servants,” said the District 8 Councilperson Chaquille Jefferson, a long-time friend of one of the implicated officials. “It’s easy to point fingers, but I know these people, and I don’t believe they would ever compromise their integrity for money.”

Blue Crown, for its part, has categorically denied any involvement in bribery or corruption. In a statement released by the company, Blue Crown spokesperson Tim Lawrence said, “These allegations are baseless and completely unfounded. Blue Crown has always adhered to the highest ethical standards, and we would never engage in any form of illegal activity.”

Sadly, Robert Jeffries died tragically last year when he was found in a flophouse in Downtown Hollywood, where he had apparently decided to take several different kinds of illegal barbiturates for the first time, injecting them one after the other into his arm, even with broken fingers on both his hands. His former colleagues were shocked and saddened by his untimely passing, yet at least for now the LAPD has ruled out the possibility of foul play.

Blue Crown’s water extraction activities in the San Bernardino National Forest have raised questions about the company’s compliance with the public trust doctrine. A lawsuit filed in 2020 by a coalition of environmental groups and local residents accused the company of violating the doctrine by extracting water for private profit at the expense of public resources. While the case is still ongoing, it has brought the issue of corporate responsibility and the protection of natural resources to the forefront of public discourse.

Supporters of the lawsuit argue that Blue Crown’s practices undermine the public trust doctrine and set a dangerous precedent for the management of natural resources. “If Blue Crown is allowed to continue draining our public lands, what’s to stop other corporations from doing the same?” asks Grace Thompson, a local resident and plaintiff in the case. “It’s our duty as citizens to protect our natural resources, and this lawsuit is an important step in holding companies like Blue Crown accountable for their actions.”

However, not everyone shares the same sentiment. Some argue that the lawsuit is an overreaction, and that Blue Crown’s water extraction practices are necessary for meeting the water demands of the state. “We need to consider the bigger picture,” says Eugene Lowenstein, a water policy expert with the AquaClear Foundation, “While Blue Crown’s activities might be controversial, they also help ensure a reliable water supply for millions of Californians. We can’t simply shut down their operations without considering the potential consequences for our state’s water security.”

Blue Crown, for its part, maintains that its water extraction activities are both legal and environmentally responsible. In a statement released by the company, Blue Crown spokesperson Tim Lawrence said, “We operate within the framework of the law and have always been committed to sustainable water management practices. This lawsuit is a misguided attempt to vilify our company, and we will vigorously defend our operations in the San Bernardino National Forest.”

In italics at the bottom of the article, there’s a request from the author of this piece, (a Los Angeles Tribune journalist by the name of Sandy Stachs) to call the listed number if you have any information about Blue Crown that you would like to share.